What is he afraid of?

So we met... we flirted a lot... we have a lot in common. I asked him out and he kept changing his mind but told me he wasn't ready for a relationship but I was just what he was looking for when he was ready.

He would talk about our future together. We would kiss. We rested in the hammock under the stars. Then he suddenly told me he thought of me like a sister and stopped flirting for a month or so but we still hung out a lot.

Now he is being super flirty again. He texts all the time and wants to see me every day. No kissing again yet... other than kiss on the check last night. we often hand feed each other desserts and make inapproprate jokes.

I think he gets nervous easily... after he gave me a kiss on the check he went home and texted me calling me an incredible friend. I feel like when we get close he gets nervous and backtracks or something.

What is he afraid of? Why doesn't he just kiss me or ask me out? I have made it obvious that I like him and he shows all the actions he feels that way about me. Am I just impatient? I don't want to initiate anything because of what happened in the past. But I am super in love with him. Should I ask him what he is afraid of... I worry I will scare him off more...


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like he really likes you but he's worried that a relationship might not last and he'll end up hurting you. I'm not sure if there's much you can do about it but he certainly doesn't want to lose you. I would suggest you confront him and ask him what his true feelings are. He might tell you something you don't want to hear and he might hurt your feelings but he might also tell you that he's just worried about something silly like letting you down or something. Either way you should be careful not to get angry or too upset because he doesn't want to lose you as a friend and if you fall out over it then he'll feel just as bad as he would if you had been going out and things went wrong. He'll probably try to avoid talking about it but if you keep pushing lightly then eventually he'll tell you.

    It's not a great situation but at least that way you'd know where you stand. There's always the chance it's just something small that's stopping him and you'll be able to reassure him that it won't get in the way.

    I hope my opinion helps. Best of luck whatever you choose to do!

    • Thanks for your comments and suggestions. I might try that as I would really love just talking to him about it... but I am afraid he will get scared and back away. Anytime I show interest or anything he seems to back off a bit. When I dont show as much interest he seems more interested. It is so confusing. But maybe if I 'push lightly' we will get somewhere. Thanks.

    • Thanks, I'm glad I could help. :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • uhm, I would say you should hold back a bit, don't just throw yourself on him, I mean don't seem too desperate if not he would use your vulnerability to his advantage. he also already "sisterzoned" you already, don't think that when the next opportunity comes he won't just go running out the window and its comes crashing down he knows he has you as his backup. Just make it seem like you are less interested and I definitely think this would help. :)


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