Will this push him away if I ask him this or is it reasonable to ask right now?

So, this guy and I have been talking since around Thanksgiving. He's a bit older, made comments like he's ready to find "the one", etc. We've hung out, flirted, texted a lot, and finally both admitted we like each other. We recently started being intimate. He's told me explicitly that he likes me, don't be offended if he doesn't text a lot because he hates it, just very reassuring basically. But I've been through the revolving door, been told sweet things time and time again and just want to establish things in the beginning. Is it too clingy or too much to basiclally just ask him, hey you know I don't know what you're looking for right now but if its just a fun fling, thats not what I'm looking for and think we should probably stop talking now? What do you think?

Okay well he responded with, "To be honest I'm not looking to settle down right now. I like you too and I'm not saying not in the future but for right now I'm not wanting a relationship"... thoughts/perspective on that?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You're just making your intentions clear and wanna know about his. I don't see any problem.

    • Show All
    • I agree. I think I'll just keep things light with him for now and if things get serious great and if not then we weren't meant to be a couple

    • Yeah, I agree with you. Well, good luck!

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I would stop being intimate with him then and then if he doesn't want a relationship then don't Persue him any longer.

    • That's exactly what I thought. If he really likes me, he'll stick around even if we aren't intimate then if not, he wasn't the guy I thought

    • I'm sorry but sometimes it does happen.

  • omg i just went through the same thing as you! Its the worst feeling. only difference was that in my situation the guy introduced himself while in a relationship still (he told that in his first text to me). we had chemistry from day 1 and we were so attraacted to each other. he broke up with his 1.5 yr long relationship to date me only to realize that he wasn't ready to date yet. he still sought me out in person and weve cuddled and made out once or twice, but he admited the same thing your guy said to you. only dif is that he left to go to another uni and so i never got the chance to pursue anything with him or help him get over his ex. now im trying to move on

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