Dating Question, do I still have a shot?

the story begins like most do. Meet a girl, begin to like her, ask her on a date, go on date, etc. so, we're past the first date, which in my opinion went very well with all things considered. This happened before Christmas time. She then went to visit family, out of the city, during the holidays for two weeks. During the two weeks we stayed in contact, just causally chatting every few days or so. I had thought all this time that id ask her on a second date when she got back, and this is where I think I started to mess up.

She returns back to town on a Sunday night, in order for Monday classes. and on Monday night i thought to myself, I have the chance to ask her out now so why not? I was in a Carpe Diem mindset. So I start talking to her at close to mid night (#1 time where I think I messed up), and she says to me, "Im super tired, Im trying to get my sleep schedule back on track, let's talk when Im more awake" But I say, "Ok sure, But let me ask you this very quickly..." (#2 time where I think i messed up) and I continue to ask her out. To which she responds "thats very nice of you to ask! Can I say I want to think about it? I know thats not really an answer, but I am not sure if I have time for anything right now other than school, and stuff" she goes on to say, "Ive also been dealing with family issues too, not that that is an excuse not to do anything fun, but just need to focus on myself for a little bit". I take this as girl talk for a no as I've heard this line before which a no being the case. So i thought to myself, 'aw well that's a shame' but i didn't really let it affect me, and I thought that was that and that and that she'd never talk to me again. But, She continues to talk to me.

I talked to a few friends about this, both guys and girls, my guy friends often told me, "move on bro" but my girl friends told me to ask again in the near future and that she probably still likes me. so, do I still have a shot? 2000 chars isn't really enough here...


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What Girls Said 1

  • i dont think she has rejected you. right now she doesn't want a relationship, but the fact that you are still talking means that she values you in her life. dont ask her out for a while. she knows you are interested in her.

    • One of my friends who I talked to, said something very similar. I've been told to wait a 2 to 3 weeks, and even up to a month. But there really isn't a number that can be put on it, is there?

    • no there isn't

    • she asked me out on what I see as a movie/dinner date. yay!

What Guys Said 1

  • If there was a mistake, it was going on a date before the break. It's all about pacing with these kinds of things. Give it a week and continue chatting. Invite her to an outing of some kind and gauge her attraction while the two of you are hanging out. If you feel things are going well, nut up and hold her hand. Be natural and be rid of the labeling of dates.

    • I know my timing was terrible now, at the time i wasn't considering timing. she's started convos with me since i asked her and she said no, which was last Tuesday. So I take that as a good thing at this point. It's been a long time, 4 years, since I've dated/been in a relationship, for various reasons. So I know that the way I've been going about it hasn't been the best simply because its been a while. But ill take what you said in to much consideration, thanks.