I feel like my emotions are at war, help please?

I dated a guy named Alex for the past 2 years. We were extremely serious, wanted to get married, etc. My first true, true love. We had many good moments together. Ended up breaking up with him because we were fighting, long-distance (we go to separate schools), and he was taking his anger out on me a lot verbally. After we broke up he went on a verbal-abuse stalking spree. Would call, text, leaving harassing messages.
Waited 3 months, found a new boyfriend at school. We have extremely similar personalities, and are just great friends. However, he is extremely dramatic. The other thing is I am very 'tomboyish' and he gets annoyed that I would rather play in the mud on a quad and listen to county music than get my nails done and gossip.
Went home for winter break. Alex came to my house and apologizes sincerely. I end up to talk with him again. I break up with new boyfriend knowing I still have feelings for Alex.
Alex and I hangout almost everyday, and eventually have sex. The feelings are all still there.
I am afraid to go back to Alex because I don't want the same bad things to happen that ended it. He seems to have changed, however, the long-distance part will be even worse because there will be little to no chance of me seeing him this entire semester.
New guy at school still wants to be with me, is giving me space but obviously still likes me. I went back to school, realize I still like him, but feel more strongly for Alex. New guy says he won't be just friends, and is making things awkward because I have classes and clubs with him. He won't even talk to me and excludes me from things saying I didn't give him enough of a chance, and if I want to make things better, I need to give him another chance.
I feel like Im going crazy, I can't be happy at school because the new guy makes my life hell, but yet I can't even go back to Alex because Im afraid that nothings going to work. Suggestions? Solutions?


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  • Don't date Alex again. He obviously has anger issues and no respect for you. Don't put yourself in a position for that to happen again. But don't date the new guy either until you have dealt with your feelings. Have time to yourself.

    • I am afraid to date Alex for that reason exactly. Like he seems more accepting than ever now, like he's finally realized what he was doing was wrong... but I'm not sure that's gonna carry over if I actually date him again!

    • It's the usual cycle with people who have abuse problems, whether that's verbally or otherwise. They treat people badly (usually a lover) then end the relationship, then get lonely, then try to seduce them again and it's like a honeymoon phase, but the problem is still their and they will repeat the same behaviour. Don't go backwards, value yourself more and move on from a bad relationship.