Do you think most people fall in love, or most people settle?

Sometimes I feel that most people settle, that's why you hear of couples coincidentally finding themselves in Uni, whether it be undergrad or grad.

I mean in a world of 7 billion people, what are the chances you just HAPPENED to love someone who you met in Uni?

It's more like a comfort zone than love, that's the way I see it. Kind of like, if you don't choose now, you'll be alone forever.

It 'love,' then, something that can't be planned, and truly only the lucky few have it?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think Modt people fall in love get hurt or find it to be extremely cumbersome being in love, then settle once they are past craving romance.

    People who get married young orobably feel heavily in love. If they waited it'd probably have dissipated and they nay have decided the peson was not worth the effort.

    People marrying later learn life is hard and msny want someone they can rely on and they will find someone they are not crazy about in their love hormone sense but highly esteem and think they can count on.

    I don't think most prople marry there one true love. People usually fall in love when hormones are highest and intellect and wisdom are still developing. They feel it but dk what to do with it fuck up then settle with someone less dramatic... Which is probably anyone older than the person they fell in love with when younger and less emotionally stable themselves.

    Part of the reason people always have bad things to say about exes is bc they too were less mature and less able to deal with things which contributes to the over sll situation
    As they grow wiser their subsequent rekationships often will seem to involve more mature people... Bc they have grown themselves.

    I don't think most people marry people they are in love with but that isn't necessarily settling. Falling in love us really not hard. People put way too much significance on its importance. In good and bad ways. Putting too much stock in his much someone cares just bc they are in love. Inversely worrying too much about what someine may want just bc they are in love.

    Being in love is to rekationshios like horny is to sex. It's just a spark it diesnt mean much in itself.

    • You know, this is actually a very, very good way to put it. It's what I suspected for a long period of time.

      It does happen to people in their youth, when everything is still new, and there's an element of innocence.

      But as age and experience factors in, they realize they can't sustain the relationship, or expect too much out of their 'love,' and then things fall apart.

      What you mention is true, you can be 'in love,' with someone at a young age, but it doesn't mean the relationship is healthy, or will make you happy, anyway.

      Sometimes I feel those who settle, are burned in love once already. That's why, once they realize it's not what it's supposed to be, they have the maturity to settle.

      I've never been burned in love, so maybe the concept of settling scares me, but definitely as I grow older and watch other people's relationships fall apart, or how this world works, I realize settling is important, not just in relationships but in virtually everything.

    • Oh lol I don't necessarily think it's what you should plan on... It's just what I see. Personally I'd raTher be single than be with someone im not in love wiTh. But relationships haVe never been something I'd planned... I just got hit with it:)

      Really depends on what's importnat to you plus some people shave the mutuality to handle love then they can be with someone they love. I think relationships fail bc people lack maturity and by the time they gain maturity they hVe already lost their love.

      I think it's good to aim at being a decent partner to someone you love expect the same, . And follow it through. love us not a bad aspiration as long as it's not your only one. Or unrealistic:)

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What Guys Said 2

  • Without question settle or stay alone. Like every other thing, people realize they aren't going to get most of what they want so they adapt by either lowering their standards or forgoing the whole melodrama.

    • So love only happens to the lucky few who it just 'happens to.'

      I find it so scary to settle. It's your whole life, what if you grow older and find someone better. It would take great resistance to not regret settling down sooner.

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    • @Asker I can't say I've ever met anyone whose love has lasted honestly. And in my experience those who profess to love each other the most use it as a facade to hide the problems in the relationship. I'm like you in that way. I can't settle. Some people are more flexible than others and I'm not one of them. I don't feel it necessary to try forcing something with someone I'm not 100% into because being alone doesn't scare me. It's up to you to decide what you want.

      @jacquesvol the two are too close to the same thing for me.

    • But indeed, My wife and I 'found' each other in university. Big luck, because after I quit university I had no time to invest in searching another life partner (and I didn't meet one by hazard. Nice & pretty girls, yes but...)

  • I think many start with unreasonable standards and adjust to reality when maturing.

    • Those standards they start with can be too low (guys jumping on every female they see) or too high (expecting a billionaire saint.)

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    • Hmm that's an interesting way to put it; you went into it with no expectations, and came out of it happy, because you didn't think too much initially.

      So the real problem seems to be having too many expectations from something, not love itself

    • Indeed, meeting reality.

What Girls Said 0

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