Why do women still ignore me?

I used to be crazy desperate to find a girlfriend just because I'd never had one before. You know the type. So I took others' advice and focused on myself for a long time, put the idea of "having a gf" out of my mind, but you know what? I'm STILL NOT GETTING ANY ATTENTION FROM GIRLS. This has only lately cropped up in my mind again and started to bother me a lot, because I'm just getting older (I'm in college now) but I guess I'm still not quite good enough.

I'm very good looking (many people, male and female, have attested to this), in shape and hygenic, very well educated, creative, funny, well-mannered, generous, and I genuinely want to be friends with girls. I have interests and talents, I don't come off as a creep, and I know how to be genuine and to befriend people (well, just guys I guess). I'm mildly shy, but not so much that it's awkward.

In fact, dating and girlfriends wouldn't bother me so much if I could just get some girls to be my friends. I guess I just want some female attention, even if it means that I won't get to date for the rest of my life.

Argh...Am I just not good enough? I feel horrible about myself. I'm incredibly bookish and enthusiastic about intellectual things. I think maybe that's why girls aren't interested?

This just occurred to me: I didn't mean to brag by talking myself up. I just wanted to make clear that I've already tried to address everything that I could think of which was wrong with me. Maybe the guy who said I didn't try hard enough is right...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Obviously you have not spent enough time focusing on yourself. If you had we wouldn't be reading how you are so bugged by not having female friends, or about how you value their opinions and perception of you more than your own. It's fine to be single, it's fine to have girls not like you. What is important is that you are happy by yourself. You are the only person that is going to be with you your entire life, so you better start liking him. The girls aren't interested because you lack confidence, lack self-eteem, and are desperate for their affection. Treat them like anyone else, they aren't more special than you, and you shouldn't devote more attention to them. Love thyself, and they shall come I know from experience.

    • This is quite true I think

    • So I have to spend even more time fixing myself? That's fine, but I just don't have that many years left of the flingy "youth" that everyone's supposed to be having. At what point do I just look stupid?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • You are good enough, you sound like a wonderful guy, but maybe you need to spot a girl that you like and approach her and ask her out for a cup of coffee or a movie and if she agrees you can take that time to get to know her and her you and maybe a friendship can form from there and possibly a romantic relationship. But, you have to open yourself up a little, its awesome that your book smart but maybe your sending out some sort of signal that girls are picking up on (these possible dates may feel that since you are so rapped up in your studies that you may not be interested in hanging out with them. In time you will find a wonderful girl who will love you and appreciate you the way you should be appreciated. Also some girls are shy like me and they may like you but don't know how to let you know, some signs are 1. Ignoring the guy they like 2. glancing at you and looking away quickly if you look in their direction. 3. Avoiding eye contact, the list goes on and on.

    Good Luck!

    • I really think my shyness is my main problem. I'm not crippingly shy. I have a good sense of humor and I can be very social once things get going, but are girls just repulsed by geeky shy guys for some reason? It's hard not to be shy when you've been rejected a lot.

What Guys Said 2

  • What about your guy friends? Don't they have female friends?

    If you hang out with guys who don't generally have female friends than it's all up to you to start making them. This route is difficult as you've seen.

    So start making guy friends who have a good female friendship established, with this, you can see what / how guys behave and do to have female companionship around. It'll show you how to form bonds with them.

  • Confidence is key. You've heard it many times.. timing and place also play a factor.