The guy im dating got dumped by his gf of 8 years 7 months ago. He approached me first 4 months after their breakup. ?

I met this guy on tinder September 2014. He was sweet, respectful, conservative, and a total gentleman. at first we were like each other's confidantes. he told me he got dumped by his gf of 8 years on June 2014 and i told him my story as well. we met each in person in December, he told me he likes me after our first date and we had 4 dates since then. yesterday, he told me he is not ready for anything serious right now. i obviously became a rebound girl, i know. i should have realized that in the beginning but my thinking was clouded by his persistence and likeable attitude. He always texts me first everyday, ask me out first, makes an effort to drive 1-2 hrs to pick me up from home on our dates. When i realized that he had a couple of dates other than me, i asked him whats going on. And then he said he's sorry if he led me on and that he is not ready for anything serious right now. my question is, why would he act like he's so interested in me if he's not even ready to commit? its not like i forced myself in. I know he needs time to recover but why in a cruel way of leading me on? I dont get it. I was once as devastated as he is from a break up but i didn't try to date guys at the same time just to help myself move on. Its not fair. Now that i have feelings for him, he dumps me. is there anyone out there who was once in this guy's shoes? I want to know what's the real deal. Thank you


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What Guys Said 1

  • The real deal is simple: He's fresh out of a relationship that nearly spanned a decade and he's probably just wants casual fun for the time being.

    Why anyone wouldn't have come to this conclusion is beyond me?

    • He spent a couple months talking to her first, it's not that unreasonable for her to assume he was somewhat interested in her.

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    • That explains your solid stance on this. I hope i'll be as clear headed as you are as soon as possible.

    • It pays dividends to never follow your feelings or your heart. It's always good to step back, engage your brain and plan a course of action.

What Girls Said 1

  • He wasn't dealing with his feelinfs. He wanted a relationship with his ex but he couldn't so he dove head first into a new one. It doesn't mean he had any bad intentions, it just means that he didn't realize that he wasn't ready until the very moment he did realize.

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