Uhm, HELP? I'm engaged but I might be in a bit of a situation?

My fiancé and I fight constantly. His friend comes over to hang out sometimes and game with both of us. Now his friend is texting me (harmless things) and not him. We do have a lot more in common than my fiancé and I, but I don't want to go there. I mean, this guy is his friend but we have more in common and I'm beginning to think I may be getting feelings for him. Is there any way to tell if he likes me but is being respectful of the situation? I can give more details if needed, just really confused atm.

Well it's not just the arguing. I try and put effort in, and it doesn't feel like any effort being given back. And I'm not sure what it means when a guy texts his friends girl letting her know he went to the doctor and is okay but not his friend. Now I wouldn't say that they are the best of buds... But? I don't know. Also, the last time all three of us hung out, somehow the term steal your girl came up. The friend said, well I could try but it wouldn't work. I'm confused about what it all means?


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you aren't even married yet and entertaining the idea of another guy, I think that's your answer. Regardless of how this friend feels, you're asking for a marriage full of problems.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Probably yeah.
    Chances are you and him will break if you get together and in be process you would of destroyed their friendship

  • I'd say your best bet is to ask him straight up if you want to know. Forget looking for the subtle signs and trying to analyze his behavior. Find a good time where you're both alone or do it over texting. Just tell him that you would really appreciate an honest answer. Make him at ease by letting him know whatever the answer is, it can stay between the 2 of you. Now, he may still lie and tell you no, but at least it gives him a chance to answer. I would likely phrase the question like this. "So I've been wondering, we get along great and I've picked up a couple signs that maybe you're interested in me. Are you or would you not rather not answer since I'm engaged to xxx". If he says he'd rather not answer, chances are, there's some interest. I would avoid admitting developing feelings for him for now if you can, depending on his answer of course. He'll likely ask you why you want to know. If you feel like you can trust him, then let him know that you and your fiance argue constantly and you're starting to have doubts. If you think he'll likely tell your fiance about this conversation, just try to have fun with it and tell him it's funny/cute and flattering if he likes you.

    From personal experience, me and this girl have become friends through her husband. They were just dating back then. Over the years, we've become best friends her and I. I had gfs, they've been together for a long time now and married a couple years ago. I recently found out that she's had a crush on me for a long time and chances are, if she could do it over again, she'd be with me now instead of him. They argue constantly, always have. She's sick of it, she's too scared to divorce. She said she always believed she'd only marry once and she feels the need to stick it out. It's kind of heartbreaking on my part because I had a crush on her for a long time too. I just kept it to myself because it was wrong. I only admitted it when she started flirting with me and told me about hers.

    • Wow that is great advice! Thanks :)

    • Now, I'm not saying to destroy your relationship for a possible crush. But I also don't think it's healthy to marry when you're constantly arguing. Chances are, you'll need to decide if you and your fiance are meant to be aside from this other possible crush. Really think things through before you start planning the wedding. You might have said yes at a time where things were good, but if you're reconsidered how you feel about him and if you too can really have a healthy marriage, then it's time to make a choice before it's too late.

      For myself, her and I have a lot more in common. He barely likes spending time with her. We hang out often and have a great time. She rarely looks forward to him coming home. She says she doesn't think she's in love with him either. I was in relationships and hung out more with her than he did. It sucks to live with regrets so do yourself a favor and really think things through.

    • I gotcha, I think maybe it's time to talk and see if it could work out, before jumping into something else. Only reason I'm freaking out is we're supposed to get our own place soon, but I would be the major money maker but going into something like that, is kinda scary.

What Girls Said 3

  • Ask yourself the questions of if you think your engagement and possible future marriage is worth throwing away? And if your okay with destroying a friendship? You have to remember you said yes to the guy that your engaged to right now and you said yes for a reason. Don't destroy a future with someone and a friendship just because you guys argue and someone on the outside looks better. That's not fair to him but honestly I would say you break it off or let him know and see what he decides because it might be a future of problems if this kind of thing keeps going.

    • I really do love him, but it doesn't feel like I'm IN love anymore. :/

    • Than you should leave before you get married to him and all hell breaks loose. Not that it isn't going to be bad now but it'll be worst trying to go through a divorce or something.

  • Do you like him more than your fiancé

    • That's the thing. I'm totally unsure, I put more in my updated question as well

    • He totally likes you he's giving all the signs it sounds like y'all are a better match then you and your fiancé

  • well do you like this guy more than ur fiancé?