It is a crime to be introverted?

Is it being introverted really that bad? I am a man on my early 30's, have a good job, I've been educated in some of the best universities in the world, have a sound financial record and still I am alone, being in love is a disgrace to me because I know I will be harmed and all of that is because I am introverted, all people wants to have fun and I am certainly not the first choice of anybody who wants to have it, should I try to pretend to be something Im not? (a funny extroverted guy), or should I give up and hope that someday some girl will choose me because of my professional success and not because of just being me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you just need to be comfortable with who you are and don't define yourself by your occupation and training. Don't punish yourself for not being the "funny extroverted guy" - this can only erode your confidence and, no, not everyone wants a guy like that. He perhaps gets noticed because he's dynamic but that can be annoying or intimidating. Unfortunately if you are down like your question seems like then you will come across as desperate or needy and women will be put off so get yourself in a more positive frame of mind. Think about what personal qualities you do have - caring, thoughtful, interested in others, interesting hobbies, etc? Until you feel comfortable with yourself you are not going to project these positive attributes that you do have. Are you targeting the quieter (perhaps introverted) girls or the bubbly extroverted ones? The introverted girl, who probably appreciates your qualities, will probably be just as shy as you. Rather than hitting clubs or parties, think about different places you might find women that are like minded - book clubs, toastmasters, or other places where you can break the ice by discussing a common interest and build a connection there.


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What Girls Said 5

  • If it was a crime, every GAGer would be criminals.

    It is a musguided conception that being introverted means you can't be happy. That you're all out of luck when it comes to things extroverts are known to be successful with, like a social life.___. People think introverts are, ironically, the "forever alone bunch".

    But in reality, not even extroverts can be totally successful when it comes to love and dating. Maybe they're too friendly, too social. Maybe they end up thinking that they should be more... introverted.

    Also, everyone has a different perspective of fun.

    The point is, finding love isn't easier for either type of person. Finding love has nothing to do with introvert/extrovert. It's got something to do with confidence. You set the limit for that.

    WORK ON YOURSELF FIRST. Let yourself loose, be comfortable with yourself, love yourself, be the person you would wanna hang out with, and never doubt yourself.

    • THEN you will find love and people of all types will be drawn to you^^^

      Goodluck and dont take things too seriously. ;-)

    • Lies I'm an extrovert borderline ambivert.

  • Don't give up my current bf is an introvert I would never trade him for an extrovert (although admittedly when I first met him my first thought was "oh shit he's cranky!").

    You might just be looking at the wrong type for you I'm socialable but I'm not into crowds so it works out.

    What attracted me to my bf was his attention to detail, the fact that he is sensitive but manly at the same time, he doesn't take things for face value, he also doesn't take things for granted and he honestly cares.

    You could also be using the wrong setting to more or less show yourself off. Because you are an introvert a social setting like a bar wouldn't be the best thing you should try something where you can show off your depth as a person maybe something like a debate club or something I don't know you well so I'm limited in the suggestions I can give.

  • Lol no, it’s not a crime but some people are just not into the introverted personality. I am one of them. My job and daily activities, hobbies, and routines include a lot of socializing. So I need a mate who will be enthusiastic and passionate about coming along instead of just wanting to stay locked away in the house.

  • It's not a crime and you should try too hard or give up. Not all people are after one thing... sex. Just go on being your happy self and when and if that special person comes along great! I don't think there's anything wrong with a single guy in his 30's.

  • Why is your age 29 if your in your early 30s? Did you lie when you made your account?

    • White lie, 30 next month

    • Ohh okay.
      I'm kind of shy and introverted.. KIND OF. And my BFF is an extrovert and she was so nice and kind and kept hanging out with me even when I thought she was annoying and wanted to be alone.. And now we are BFFS.

      That's what you should do. Be kind and nice and keep on talking to the person even if they get pissed off. In a few months they will love you.

What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think anyone actually cares whether you're an introvert or an extrovert. The "war" was started by some nutcase.