FIRST date tips PLEASE?

So, as shocking as it may sound, after 4 relationships, and with 19 years of age, this Thursday I'll be having the first date of my life, first REAL date.
We're just gonna grab some coffee, get to know each other better, and see what happens. But, even though it's more of a casual date, I'm still nervous.
I don't wanna mess it all up and waste this opportunity, so please, give me some advice, some tips on what to do, how to act, what to say, how to dress... I know I have to be confident, relaxed and make eye contact, but any other tips from those more experienced in dates?

Thanks so much in advance!!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh man, I have been there :)

    For me, I was 16 with no experience at all. We went to see a movie, which is a terrible place for a first date obviously.
    Anyway, there is only a few things you need to keep in mind. First of all, remember that there are 2 people going on this date, you and her. It is not solely your 'job' to keep the conversation going. If there would be a silence, it is as much as her fault as it is yours. Do not be afraid of these silences, it just happens :)

    How to act/what to say.
    Do not focus on what you're supposed to be doing. Do not think about how many times you should have eycontact of something like that. Try to let that go and just focus on the talking. I used to think of a number of "backup" questions in case I wouldn't know what to say. Funnily enough, I always only get to use one to break the ice and then the conversation kinda carries itself. Start with something like "How was your day until now?". It is nice, casual and gets her an easy way to start telling you about stuff she's been doing. She too is wrecking her brain trying to think of stuff to talk about! She agreed to go for a coffee with you. She is interested in YOU, my friend! Chances are she is also hoping she won't mess this up!

    When you're going to order the coffee, ask her what she's having and order for the both of you (and pay obviously). The guy paying for the girl is perhaps a bit old-fashioned, but in my experiences, most girls really like the gesture and it makes it even more obvious that this really is a date.

    Dress casually your best. Does that sounds weird? Let me explain.
    Make yourself look the best you can without throwing on a suit is the main idea. Shave, shower, fix your hair (don't overdo it) and throw on something of your everyday clothes which you think you look best in. The main idea is to make yourself feel comfortable. She will notice that you are confident about how you look, which is a good thing.

    I hope this helped you! Feel free to ask more :)

    • Thanks so much man, it really really helped. I'll remember this for the date.
      My problem is that when something goes wrong, I blame it on myself, so those silences may bring me down because I may think that I'm not doing my job to keep things going, or that she's not interested, but like you said, it's a date between two people, so it's also her job to keep the conversation going. I'll have to keep this in mind.
      Thanks again!!! ;)

    • I still think and worry about all that stuff, it's natural, but by reminding yourself it is 2 people, notjust you, you really take the edge off.

      Have fun! :)

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  • It'd be better to go and do something that takes pressure off of the two of you having to talk. I like to see if the girl I'm taking on a date wants to go to the archery range to take a lesson as the date. It's fun, makes it where you don't need to be constantly talking, and it's out of the ordinary. Beyond that, it's something I've gone to competitions for in both barebow and traditional style archery, so it's a little chance to show off a hobby, and if she doesn't like it or have fun then there's the dealbreaker right there.

    • The problem is that I don't know very much about the city since I'm not originally from here, and the weather doesn't help either, it's cold, it may snow, so I just decided to go with something I know it's not gonna fail, plus, I wanna get to know her better, see if me and her are compatible for a possible relationship.
      But your advice is very good, the problem is what I said before.
      Thanks though :)

    • Well, the basic idea is to do something where the date is an activity you can do together. I've gone on the coffee date before (even though I don't drink coffee) and those can get awkward really fast.

    • Yeah, that's what I want to avoid: awkwardness xD