Why would he lie about this?

I've been dating a man for a month now and when I met him I don't think his profile was hidden. I went on the site again Monday and now its hidden. I asked him about it and he says, "It's been hidden forever, but I re-hid it for a short time when I re-did my profile." That doesn't even make any sense because you don't have to unhide your profile to update it. And he's not on any other dating site and he told me that he's been on POF for a while.

I fine it strange as well that I texted him about this and it took about 25 minutes to tell me that but he was texting withing 10 all the other times he texted me. It was like he was thinking of something to say.

And also, I looked at his profile again and it says, "If you are interested in finding out more, message me " How is someone going to message you if your profile is hidden and can't find you in a search? I feel like he lied to me but I can't figure out why. He didn't even have to lie!


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What Guys Said 1

  • He's probably been keeping his options open a bit. Guys can find it hard to let go of the single life. Keeping his profile up is a way for him to still get some attention.

    It's also possible you considered the two of you to be an item before he did. That's pretty common. But it's only been a month so I wouldn't get too worked up about it.
    Obviously it's a bit shit from and I think you can rightly expect him not to do it again. But I wouldn't too worked up about it just yet.

    • But he's not getting attention if his profile is hidden. Only he can contact other women, they can't contact him first.

      That's the thing. We've only been seeing each other for a month so he didn't have to lie about this.

      The main reason I think he's lying is at the end of his profile it says, "If you are interested in finding out more, message me." That's been there since the day he contacted me. So he's was anticipating women messaging him. So that means he lied.

    • Maybe I'm not getting this hidden / re-hidden POF thing properly.

      But my guess is he probably was doing something a but cheeky to keep his options open. Maybe he unhid it then re-hid it. He thinks you busted him and he had to think on the spot. He had two choices. A: to say he was up to no good. B: to make up an excuse and weasel out of it. He chose B.

      It's not ideal but I think a lot of people would do the same thing.

      I guess the only thing that will solve this riddle is another conversation with him?

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