Long distance relationship opinion... Is this fair or am I being dramatic?

A little history: My girlfriend will be dating for 6 months on Feb 12 (yes we're lesbians)

She lives in Seattle and I live in Hawaii.
We're 3000 miles apart and 2 hours ahead. Doesn't seem like much, but it is. Here's why.

I only work 4 hours a day and she's busy ALL day and I mean ALL day so I don't get to hear from her much. The other night I had an anxiety attack and I needed her but she didn't seem all too interested because she was doing homework. I woke up feeling like poop and I wanted a good morning from her and got a "phew" back from her after I told her "good morning baby I made it to work". I blew it off because she said she was busy. I again get ignored for the rest of the day and she texts me 4 hours later grumbling about how heavy her period was. I got upset and told her that I felt ignored and how she had time to tell me "phew" and grumble about her period but didn't have time to ask how my day was. After I told her how I felt I got a verbal lashing about how busy she is and how she can't text me every second. I don't expext her to text me every second but a few seconds would be nice. The long distance is already enough without being pushed on the back burner and being just t h e r e when she needs someone to talk to. She said I was being dramatic about it when it wasn't mean to start a fight. And now on weekends I barely get to talk to her because she let her friends talk her into doing this senior dance when weekends are our time.

I don't know if I should wait around for her to really notice how much the distance destroys me without having to point it out over and over or give her a taste of her own medicine and just not reply to her and ignore her.

Point is; I dont believe that someone is "too busy" just a matter of where I fall under her priorities.

She also made a point of saying that "being supportive means I'm understanding that she can't always be there to talk". I don't want her to talk to me every second and don't expect her to give her my full attention. She thinks I'm trying to make her feel bad because she's busy the time when that's not it. I just miss her because the LD is already a lot but to be waiting for her to reply to me when she's not busy is overwhelming.
I'm always going to be her biggest supporter and that'll never change. Every single day I tell myself that is all worth it and in the end we'll be together... But I can only tell myself that for so long until I feel insane.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • The taste of her own medicine thing won't work. You're in a relationship and you have to communicate without fighting. Have a calm discussion about how you feel, and hear her out.

    I'm in a ldr as well (although not that long, we are only about an hour and a half away so we see each other every other week or so) and it's tough, but you have to expect that you have different lives at the moment and thaybperson won't always be there for you. Neither of you are wrong.

    You have to have a real talk about where you see everything going and how it's going to get there. If it won't work out then it won't work out but you can't blame her and she can't blame you, because it isn't healthy

    • I've told her how I felt and it turned into her getting really defensive over it.
      She knows already that the LDR is already a lot but I want to work on it. But for her to be busy so much and say I'm not supportive even though she knows I am and be distanced even more than we already are sucks ass!!
      Am I supposed to sit around and hope this feeling passes?

    • I appriciate your opinion, don't get me wrong; but you get to see your other half! I don't! I have to wait 6 months until I get to see her. You get to wait 6-7 days.

    • It's up to you. Is it worth it for you? Would you be happier if you weren't? Do you plan on making it not long distance at any point?

      All I'm saying is that, while yes, it's tough on you, you have to understand it's not exactlY easy on her either. So have a real discussion about it. Don't spring it on her. Maybe ask her during the day if/when she has time to talk because you feel like you need a serious conversation. Be sure to let her know she isn't in trouble or you aren't fighting but at you feel you need to communicate

      Whatever happens happens

What Girls Said 1

  • You need to look for a gf in Hawaii. Someone who can actually be there and hold your hand when you have an anxiety attack. Someone you can have a physical connection with not just a mental one.

    Long distance relationships aren't do healthy in my opinion

Loading... ;