Should I be worried that I haven't heard anything since he's gone away? Is he just busy or could he be 'phasing me out'?

I met a guy online. Massively clicked. We both advertised we wanted a relationship but never discussed it between us. We finally met up and as he didn't live locally i said he could stay but said nothing will happen. I got very drunk as i was really nervous as was he but we ended up sleeping together. Next morning he took the mickey out of me for not being able to stop talking and how drunk i was bur it was playful. He stayed the day and chilled watching films and we slept together a few more times which i was annoyed at myself for allowing it to happen on the first date as i was really into him but don't regret it if that makes sense. He was very affectionate and at the end of the day he had to get back to where he worked he cuddled me and said it was fun and he would like to see me again to which i agreed. We have text continually altho it tends to be me that starts the conversation. However he sends me pics, tells me about his day etc. At the date he had said his next few weeks were rammed with work concluding with him going abroad for a week. I had asked when i could see him again over text as i had my rota through from work trying to keep it casual which he had said about work and going away and it was s**t. He made no suggestion of when we could but neither did i. he's now in america and hasn't msged me. I have msgd him saying i hope you're having a good time which he has read but not replied to. I really want to go on a second date with this guy but after someone mentioned the possibility of our date just being a quick 'on the way through shag' for him i have started to worry that maybe he isn't overly interested. I dont want to appear clingy but i dont want to bother him if he is busy with work/mates. How do i know if he is interested without directly asking? I dont date and have been single for a year and I've never really dated hence why i got drunk as i get very nervous in situations like that.


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What Guys Said 1

  • If he says he's busy then I guess you just have to take his word for it and see where things go. I wouldn't overtly show you are worried until you really know him.

    You made the mistake of sleeping with him, but I think the mistake really is on your conscious, not his. If he likes you he will show it in time, however now you just don't know if it's just the sex he's interested in.

    Did he encourage you to drink? Drinking on a first date is really bad for this reason!!

    • Oh i know it was my fault however i am the kinda girl who if i know i like someone then i'll go for it. I dont sleep around but this is why i dont date! We both had previously flirted and been cheeky over text but both said no we would be good as im assuming we wanted to see how this would go but it just happened! But then the next day both were sober and we still had sex a few times as well as talking and going out for some food.

      No i genuinely am horrible at dates. People would describe as confident, talkative and fun but when it comes to dating, without a drink i go shy which i had warned him about so he suggested we go to a local bar for a drink. However i had drunk before he came round and hadn't eaten. Totally my fault. I apologised next day to which he was like i knew you'd be nervous but really? He was sweet about it

    • Then it sounds like you shouldn't worry. It's clear he likes you so just give it time. You can text a few times a day or call but don't do OTT :)

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