Interested in male and female input. Opposites attract but can they last?

Do you think that people who share the same values and relate on that level can have a successful relationship even though they are completely different in personalities with not a thing in common... Interested in male and female input.
Loud vs Quiet
Parties vs close family/friends
judgmental vs Understanding
Death metal vs classic rock

lol just an idea though

is it possible?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, it can. Desire and a willingness to put effort into maintaining a relationship are what keep a relationship going, not similarities. My man and I have been happy together for 17 years now, and we have very little in common. He smokes, I don't. He has multiple tattoos, I have none. I'm religious, he isn't. I love hiking and the outdoors, he likes to be inside. I celebrate holidays, he could care less about them. I love animals, he is ambivalent towards them. He loves rock music, I listen to country. The list goes on and on. None of it has ever come between us. A relationship is more about who you love than what you like.

    • Do you mind reading my comment and letting me know whether any of the things you listed about your relationship would quality as "primary?" I feel like, granted I know nothing about you, but the only immediate characteristic that could be a primary one is religion, but I would then ask how serious are you about it? Even if you are extremely religious and he is extremely against religion, that would only be one thing, and I feel like that wouldn't make you "opposites" in the full extent of the word. No two people are exactly alike.

      I would also like people to take note that I did mention *for the most part* opposites do not in fact attract. And I stress that this is a fact, I even gave supporting evidence. There are sure to be some cases where the saying is true, but if a saying is wrong 95% of the time, it doesn't really deserve to be a saying.

      I am also in NO way insulting or questioning your relationship, please don't think that.

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    • *am *show

    • Hmmmm. If that's the case, what is it that is still keeping you two together? Are you just comfortable? Counting on the fact that things will improve?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Absolutely, anything is really possible. Some people can make it work and others will let it get in the way. I think it's all about finding a happy medium between it all and compromise. Take time to try something the other is interested in

    • thanks that is exactly how i see it.. just wanted another perspective thanks!

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    • I'm all for learning more about new things that i generally don't talk about, so I'm cool with anything you're saying.. not bursting my bubble! I just feel like sometimes people read in too much to what everyone is saying and what is considered not possible or proven to be.. like just do your thing for once and let your feelings flow without asking for what is right or wrong or what will work or not work... just go with the damn flow for once and find out for yourself, don't let facts and articles dictate whether or not your relationship will work out because you can potentially miss something that could have been amazing.

    • Cool, and I can agree with you on that to a large extent, though I would still err on the side of caution when going too far down that path in fear of deluding yourself, not by the facts presented to you outside of yourself, but the ones directly affecting you.

  • I had a bf who was very opposite I tried extremely hard to see his points of view and such but at the end of the day I had to break up with him because I haut couldn't relate on any level

  • I know they definitely attract.
    Satanist vs. Christian
    Nerd vs. Jock
    Goody-two-shoes vs. juvenile druggy
    Intellectual vs. Well, ignorant?
    Wallflower vs. Social butterfly

    • Are you kidding? Part of me thinks your first sentence was sarcastic? These are basically the most stereotypically averse dichotomies possible. The Satanic Bible was literally written out of the disgust felt towards Christianity (I am a Satanist). The jocks beat up the nerds. The goody-two-shoes, by definition, would find the juvenile delinquent (the actual opposing term) repulsive. Intellects abhor ignorance, and so-too do the Wallflowers detest the social butterflies.

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    • No I'm serious.
      I'm a Satanist who is very much in love with a die hard Christian.
      It only works, because I make fun of him, and he can take a joke. He's really understanding (surprisingly).
      I'm the nerdiest person ever, my screen savers are math jokes. I wear mathematical pun shirts.
      I don't do drugs, have sex, drink, the most illegal thing I do is not wear a seatbelt, and my last boyfriend was recently arrested for breaking and entering as well as drug possession.
      So I'm pretty smart, and well at least he was cute.
      I don't have a group, and at parties I'm always huddled up in the corner, the guy I like is the life of the party, friends with everyone, and everyone loves him.

    • Also for the
      nerd vs. jock, the dude is a four season varsity athlete, and is captain of every team he's on, and he doesn't play one sport per season. He plays 2-4.

What Guys Said 3

  • Actually, this saying is a myth, for the most part.

    The things that are most real to you, that you hold closest to you, that are most important, and that are character defining, such as your core values and beliefs, will not be compatible with their opposites found in a partner.

    Where opposites can exist in a sustainable relationship are secondary, non-issues. For example: I like chocolate and she likes vanilla. Couples might find it quirky if they have opposing preferences or ideas, but if they interfere with anything concerning the primary things, there will be blood.

    It is important to realize that everyone's primary and secondary qualifications can vary, but the same logic still applies.

    Also, this is not just an opinion, this is well researched and understood by therapists and couple's councilors.

    This is just one article I pulled at random about the topic to prove my point.

  • Sure. But eventually it'll catch up when you have children, get married, buy a house, start putting your money together. This so called balance from opposites attracting will start to fade. You need to be on the same page with certain things and what I mentioned earlier are just a few.

  • No they cannot.