How do I cut out the emotions?

I met a girl and we've only been dating (sleeping together, we don't actually go out and do things) for a month. We moved very fast and built a strong bond in that time. Some information came to light and I suspect she is cheating. At least digitally/emotionally. She's explained it away but it still doesn't add up. You know? The things she said don't match up with other things she's said in the past. I can't get over the feeling and every time something happens that makes me more suspecious my heart starts pounding, I can't stop shaking, and I feel like I'm going to vomit. I simply can't help but listen to my instinct which says she's lying and cheating but I have no proof. I'd still like to see her but I need to stop feeling this way. I can admit we moved to fast and I'd like to remove the emotional bond so we can have a more casual relationship where I won't care what she's doing and who she's doing it with. Is it possible to stop feeling strong emotions once they've been built? Or is my only option to follow my gut, even without proof, and end the relationship.

  • Cut your losses and call it quits.
    Vote A
  • Hang in there, just stop caring so much.
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've been that girl in a similar situation.
    After a while I just assumed he wanted nothing more than sex.
    He never said anything about going out and doing something, it was always just the hooking-up. Which was nice enough, but I wanted more.
    I just figured he didn't... So I kept my options open.
    I kept chatting on OKC, meeting with others, ... but nothing ever happened in the while I was seeing my hook-up.

    If he had just told me he wanted more or asked to go out from time to time I would have said yes.
    It took him a few months to realize he wanted more and by that time I was kinda fed up.

    SO just tell her how you feel about her!


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well, I'm a sociopath. I can snap my fingers and change how I feel about a person.

    For those of us less handicapped, take deep breaths. If you aren't going to break up with her and you aren't going to cheat on her back (which I don't recommend doing), just use the situation for what it is.

  • I don't think you are ready for a relationship. Take up meditation practice to calm/control your mind...