Need a lie to tell my parents?

I met a guy on "OKCupid" which I am too young to be on (by like 3 months) but I really like this guy and he apparently really likes me, we've been talking for over a week (doesn't seem like that long) but we have both said that it feels like we have been talking forever. I want to meet him in person and hang out together (of course initially this will be done in a public place). But I need some kind of lie to tell my parents, as I'm 17 and he's 20 (I'm nearly 18 and he just turned 20) on how I met him.

I have a couple ideas, one was I met him on the train on the way home from cooking school.

The other was say I'm going to the mall with a friend and either actually do that or hang out with him and depending on how that goes if I want to hang out with him again tell my parents that I met him at the mall.

Do you have any other ideas that I could say?

Seriously guys if you tell me not to meet him I will get so pissed off this is a serious question, I've spent enough time on the Internet to tell a creep and a fake apart from a good person. I know this guy is real, I know he is genuine, I'm not stupid, this is the reality of life it's 2015 online dating is not as bad as it use to be so answer my damn question or piss off.


Most Helpful Guy

  • you can just tell our parents, that you will meet with some friend of yours, without explaining further.

    and of course meet each other in a public place so you could be safer.

    oh and by the way, don't listen to everyone who'll tell you "you don't lie to your parents, blah blah". they're just hypocrites.

    everyone's told a lie to their parents. so tell them to stop, i'm with you

    • So what if we've all lied before? There's this process called learning from our mistakes.

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    • thanks for MHO

      but why 4 downvotes? :-/

    • People obviously don't like being called hypocrites 😂

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Spoken as someone who is in a relationship with someone they met online? I'm seeing red flags all over the place here.

    Snapchat is not video chat. Instant messenger is not speech. And perhaps most importantly, one week is nowhere near long enough to get any idea what a person is really like. Be careful you're not infatuated with the *idea* of this guy, instead of who he truly is.

    (As an aside, don't kid yourself about scammers and creeps - some are obvious, yes, but the former do what they do for a living, and some are *very* good at what they do.)

    I'm not saying there isn't a chance he's clean, but the risks here are high enough that it'd be stupid not to take precautions. For this first meeting at the very least, you need to tell friends and family who you're meeting with, when and where, and meet in public - preferably with a friend.
    ^ She didn't. And in the end it cost her everything.

    • It's impossible to fake on snapchat. You send videos and photos, you can't upload files unless it's in message and then it tells you.

    • I would ask that you take precautions, all the same. Tell someone who you're meeting, when and where. Don't go off alone with him. Please take the time to read that article if you haven't already.

  • answer my damn question or piss off.

    This makes you sound sooo mature -_- If you really think you know somebody just because you snapchat you need a reality check. Talking to someone for a week isn't nearly enough time. It is impossible to gauge someone's true personality over the Internet.

    Another thing, lying to your parents is stupid, immature and proof that you aren't ready for something like this. Woman up, act your age, get your head out of the clouds and tell the truth.

    • Like the guy above said, everyone lies to their parents I've lied about how I met a guy before and they ended up meeting him and we were together for over a year. It's such a small thing to lie about, it is none of their concern how I met him but I would rather not say that I met him on a dating site. I know it's not possible to fully know someone over the Internet hense why I want to meet him, we have a lot in common and I can tell that my dad is going to absolutely love him if we do end up as something because they have a lot in common.

      I told the truth and you're telling me I'm immature? I get pissed off when people tell me not to do something when I didn't ask them if I should do it or not, the question is simple.

    • So that makes it okay? And yes, it is their business because A: You're a minor, and B: You're their daughter. That makes everything you do their business. And like I told him, just because everyone lies at some point doesn't mean we don't learn not to do it. Lying about how you meet someone and where you're going to go is only going to make your life harder when your parents find out the truth. and one day they will. Parents always find out sooner or later.

    • My parents won't care if I lie to them, it's a white lie, it's hardly anything, I just don't want to tell the truth straight up because I will be judged and questioned and Im never in the mood for that. I think everyone would want to avoid getting questioned by their parents (and I mean interrogated) at all costs

  • This just sounds like a bad idea waiting to happen... Your dad doesn't happen to be Liam Nieson-esque does he? If yes you'll be fine if no F***!!!

  • Why lie?

    I met him online.
    Lying will only make your life harder. You went about meeting him safely and your still breathing.

    You met him at the mall, you met him at a restaurant, your not lying, you actually did first physically meet him in one of these places. (pick one, over coffee if that's what your doing then that's a good one)

  • If we don't condone something, how and why should we help you?

    • If you don't condone it then don't answer.

    • I can answer if I want. You know what you're doing is wrong, why should people help you?

    • Actually I don't think what I'm doing is wrong. This guy makes me happy, how is it wrong that I want to meet him?

What Girls Said 8

  • You idiot. You don't go meet up with a strange man you talk to off a dating site. This is why they are not for damn children. You don't lie to your parents, you get off the site and wait until you are mature enough to realize how childish and risky the whole situation is. What do you think a 20 yr old guy wants with a 17 yr old girl? Smarten-up!

    • I know how to tell a creep from a genuine person.

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    • How is that hypocritical?

    • There are signs, my ex is basically a psycho, i ignored all the signs, I saw him on Skype get mad over nothing and throw things across the room, I thought nothing of it. A whole pile of other things happened and it wasn't until he physically hurt me (nothing major) and the look he had in his eye was when I realised.

      There are always signs.
      Not everybody is a physco on the Internet. I'm willing to give this guy a chance and then run at the first sign of something not quite right.

  • Um. This is EXACTLY why they don't want kiddos to be on online dating!

    I find it hilariously sad that you feel old and mature enough to use online dating, but yet still feel the need to lie to your parents about it.
    This right here, this is how you know it's a bad idea.

    It's really sad, cuz this is the fucking stupid shit that young girls do. And what's sad is that these are the stories we see on the fucking news. Some foolish young girl thinks she knows the world, that she's so smart and mature, and then something terrible happens. Do you know the biggest fear of adult women is that their online date might turn out to be a killer?
    There are stories about the guy turning out to be a murderer. Rapist. A criminal in real life.

    If you do decide to meet him, tell your parents the truth. And tell them where you'll be. Don't end up on the news.

    I never understood how spoiled brats always complain about no freedoms. If your parents are paying for your rent, your internet, your phone bill, and they're worried your safety. APPRECIATE THAT SHIT. I had to work since I was 12. I had to pay the fucking rent and my own bills since 16. I would LOVE to have my parents pay for all my shit and do their best to worry about me and keep me secure. And only have to worry about focusing on school, not go behind their back for some stupid ass guy.
    You don't know how good you have it. Seriously. So listen to your parents. And yes, I'm assuming they provide for you cuz you feel the need to ask for permission.

  • It's only 2 years and you say you're online all the time so why don't you just tell them the truth? Have you done something in the past that would make your parents not trust your online friends?

    Part of being an adult is learning to recognize ridiculous or dangerous situations. You know how there's a honeymoon phase in most relationships? That's where you are right now. There was the initial thrill of meeting and now the idea of meeting up is fueling conversations. Why not think about talking to this guy for another week or two and see if he stays interesting? Why do you *have* to meet him right away? If he really likes you, he'll stick around. If he's just looking for a friends with benefits or something you saved yourself the hassle.

  • Please, please, please do not go alone.

    • Agreed!!!

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    • You do have a choice. Take your best friend with you. If he is a half-decent human being, he will understand that a young girl would not think it was wise to show up alone and meet a man that she only knows from online. In fact, if he's a gentleman, he will insist on it.

    • My friend has her own life, she has a boyfriend that she spends every weekend with, she needs to be making most of her time with her family and boyfriend before she heads off to the states for a few months. Plus I would never drag a friend into a third wheel, you're always different around a friend than you are around someone you like, it's never a good idea because someone will always be left out.

  • Yeah that's a good idea. Or you could like meet him at the park and say you're meetings "friends". Anyway, all I want to say is be careful. He could be pyscho that's catfishing you. You never know with people on the Internet, they seem pretty dodgy to me. Have you video chat with him yet? Just make sure you're safe with him before something happens. and bring a friend just in case

    • We've snapchatted a lot which is hard to fake and we saw each other at the mall (didn't talk) we just happened to be in the same shop and walk past each other

  • Judging by your attitude both towards your parents and towards people on here, you're not ready for a relationship yet. You need to mature a bit more first. If you don't want opinions, don't ask for them, just because they're not what you want to hear. I advise against meeting him, since you shouldn't have been on there in the first place, but of course you'll do what you want regardless. Go ahead and lie to your parents, but this relationship will never work out if they find out the truth, which I can almost guarantee they will, and they will most likely lose all trust in you. But, seeing as you're a teenager with an attitude, most likely you don't care at this point and will do what you want. But remember in the future that you brought all consequences upon yourself.

    • Also, I was raped when I was younger by doing what you're doing. And guess what. I actually saw the guy on webcam and everything, met at a public place. Guess what? Was still raped. I knew this guy for 2-3 years. You've known him for how long? A little over a week you said? Please listen to people older than you. This is idiotic and has red flags all over. From someone with experience in this, it is NOT worth it.

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    • There already are red flags all over the place, and that's what everyone is telling you and that's why everyone is so concerned. But like I said, you'll do what you want. Just don't complain about the consequences, especially when we've all warned you. Sometimes we do have to learn the hard way. Also, you're not a cautious person if you're wanting to meet someone within talking for a week. I won't meet people until I've known them for years. I'm not against meeting people online. But as someone who has done it before, I'm warning you that there are obvious red flags here.

    • What are the red flags you see?

      I never said I'm going to meet him this week I am still going to wait a while this is just a preparation.

  • Ok my question for you is do you feel your parents would approve of him? Would they like him? If so, then why lie?
    Also, as you said you don't want to hear it, however, please consider, if he is this great after a week he will be just as great in a couple months once you turn 18, there is no harm in taking things slow and getting to know him better, and if his feelings are true as you say they are, he will respect that, and if he won't wait around a couple months to see you in person, then maybe you should consider if he is worth your time because if he won't respect you and the fact that your parents wouldn't approve then chances are he's not really that nice of a person, and as someone who has been 17 and knows how you are feeling you really should listen to what these people are saying.

    • My parents would love him, he wanted to meet me for coffee a few days after we started talking and I told him that if like to get to know him before we hung out, and he said that the fact that I said that made him want to stick around because of how "classy" I was. I wasn't going to meet him like tomorrow this was just preparing for it, possibly in another 2 or so weeks but I want it to be a bit before April as he is going up north to work for 6 months then (which is also the month I turn 18) he recently said that if we end up in a relationship or wanting to be in one that he would drive down (6hrs) every other weekend to hang out with me until he moves back down.

  • Look as someone who has used that site I am just going to give my two cents. I agree with some of the others just say you're going to meet up with some classmates. The other thing and you probably won't like me for saying it. While I understand why you are getting bothered about the people telling you you shouldn't meet the guy or he could be a creep. Whether you have talked to him in person for a week or month and haven't gotten any weird vibes from him, it doesn't guarantee that he's not a creep. Seriously I have been played plenty of times and sadly from a couple guys I have known for years. I thought I knew them and I didn't. Just take what everyone is saying as advice because people here are concerned. You have only known him a week and just cause it feels like you've known each other for longer doesn't make it true. Some people (not just guys) are great at conning others. Also please please don't give me the whole "i'm not from the usa and there aren't as many creeps over here." There are creeps and murderers everywhere. So be safe, and be guarded. Just don't go in thinking "he's gonna be the one." and jump in head first without hesitation. That is all. good luck!

    • Yeah I knew all that I am being quite casual and too myself until I am absaloutly certain I can tell him anything

    • ok good.

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