Negative and positive signals from coworker?

This coworker has really been confusing me. She shows high interest playing with her hair, qualifying and advertising herself to me, but then when I ask to hang out she's always busy. We hung out once, and on that encounter, she kept lightly tapping her foot against mine under the table but then also said we weren't dating. She had gum toward the end of our date, but I tend to not kiss on first dates, and I think that threw her off. Anyway before we left she said we should do it again. Then when we tried meeting up again she asked me what my intentions and I left it in the open about being serious or friends, so we texted for awhile, and eventually she said she was dating another guy so I basically conveyed we wouldn't hang out. But that made her want to go on another short dinner after work one night, and she kind of showed off, flirting a little with what she said and brushing her hair and touching my arm once. Anyway, I had an awesome Valentine's Day gift for her that's not flowers or over-the-top, but I don't want to be the guy who missed all the cues if she isn't interested. Why does this have to be so difficult? After we had the non-date dinner as friends, she started smiling more at work, which we used to do once in awhile before. But also that night, she kind of suggested having me hang out with her and another girl I'm really just friends with. Overall, it seemed like she was interested, and I really like her, but I think I already pressed too far once already. She always tries to be discrete when she touches her hair, but I always notice. It's cute. But geeze!!!


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  • Considering the ambiguity of the situation, I advise against giving her a Valentine's Day gift unless you give similar Valentine's Day gifts to additional coworkers or a group.

    I mean who are we kidding here, man. The gift to her, I believe, is indicative of your skepticism or fear to definitively ask her out on another date. If she is intelligent and observant, she'll see right through your pretext.

    But I get it, she is your colleague, which therefor means you will almost certainly see her regardless of the outcome.

    So, with that, I suggest you invite her to lunch or dinner, to test the waters. If she exhibits any signs that you perceive as romantic of interest in you, then, of course, pounce on the opportunity to ask her out officially, that is, if you can handle any outcome, unfavorable or favorable.