How can a chubby guy put himself out there in the dating world without looking like a creep?

what i mean by that is you know like in films when a charming guy is eyeing up a girl from across the room and the girl gets all shy but when a chubby guy does it the girl think he's creepy, thats why in places i never do that.

you see i want to put myself out there, get in a relationship and be close with a girl, i have some issues but im trying to not let that bother me.

now i want to be in a relationship, i could start off being friends but i dont want to end up in a friendzone.

any advice


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1st. "Friendzone" is a way some guys say "I wanted this girl, but she had the gall to resist my advances and didn't do what I want and only wanted to be friends, the bitch." So. Don't be that guy. It's okay to be friends first, and lots of relationships do build out of friendships, but with any given woman, there's no particular way you can make a relationship more intimate if she's not interested (unless, you know, you plan to rape her >:p )

    2nd: Lots of women have physical "types." Just like lots of guys do.

    3rd: Lots of women don't. Just like lots of guys.

    So, you're not going to know if you're a woman's type unless you ask a totally random girl out and she says yes. Kind of hit-and-miss.

    I recommend that whole "broaden your social circles" thing - go out, be social, be friends with people, and if you happen to meet a cute chick... cool. If you hang out and decide you like her, ask her out. If she's not interested... you tried. Move on. If you're comfortable being a friend, and she's someone you'd like as a friend, go for that, but don't expect it to turn into anything more. (things like that do happen, but it's a terrible idea to count on it).

    I met my gf at a social event; she was an acquaintance of a an acquaintance. I made sure she got invited to a social dance in the area I frequent, and we got to hang out a few Friday nights - in big groups of friends, but we definitely flirted with each other... and talked a lot :p We started dating after 3-4 weeks. I wasn't looking for a relationship, altho I was ready for one if I found the right person. But I had a nice big social circle, and so I met lots of girls on a regular basis! I think that's a good way to go.

    Speaking of which, ballroom dancing, blues dancing, and especially contra dancing are great ways to meet people. Contra dancing isn't as "hot" or "sultry" as blues dancing is, so it's harder to accidentally be creepy, while still being v social. (And FUN)

    • thanks for the advice and im not that guy for what you said in the beginning, id just like a girl to give me a chance

    • //nod//

      Oh, the point I was trying to make but seem to have gotten distracted from is that hanging out with people socially means you get a chance to meet people you share interests with, and people who don't have a physical type, people who like your type, and people willing to date outside their type (hello darling mine!) get to know you as a person, and so deciding whether to date can be based on more than just looks :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • You can't worry about what someone will think about you. If a girl thinks you're creepy just because you're bigger than average screw her. You don't need to talk to her anyway. I'm a big guy too I know that's not for every girl, but you have to approach each situation as if she won't mind. Have confidence and be yourself. If she doesn't want to date there are more girls you just have to put yourself out there. Best of luck

  • Be friendly, flirt gently and look for signs to continue.

  • If you're chubby you're basically worthless in the dating world. *former chubby guy*