Really like a girl, its definitely a forbidden romance but it makes me want her more, what should I do?

Hello all, a little background story on this...

I've been seeing this girl just over 3 months now, we live around 150 miles apart and I see her on some weekends. We have been texting a lot at first sending pics to each other etc having a real good laugh and chit chat.

We get on sooooo well like literally perfect for each other, but she is really independant and is a little bit emotional person. She made the decision to go travelling around japan and asia for a year in October of this year, so since we have been seeing each other there has been this trip kinda hanging over us so we both cannot fully commit to anything, she is also realy really scared of commitment too :/

Weve had some chats and she has said to me numerous times that I've been the best guy she's been with in a verry long time and that she's been looking for someone like me for the past few years. she's opened up to me about things she's never really told other people and we are also like best friends too, its really odd as I've never felt this way either about someone in such early stages and neither has she, she has told me.

The whole thing though has been on and off becausr of this trip and she says we cannot see each other because it got really intense too quick, so we decide to leave it and be friends but then she texts me again and we start it up again :s i go to hers we have sex and then its like nothing happened.

Now recently she said definitely not taking it any further but she changes her mind again and I end up at her house last weekend and we end up having sex again and kinda acting like a couple which is a bit weird.

Monday she's being all flirty sending a few pics back and forth and yesterday she's texting me too, all of a sudden she stops and doesn't bother all evening and then today she said "jus need some quiet time and will see u Friday mwah mwah xxxx"

Confused as hell here :/ i probably know we cannot be in relationship too, any advice greatly appreciated guys

Still looking for some more advice here guys and gals :)


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  • I think you two need to make a decision. My work sends me overseas for up to a year at a time. Actually, I am now- haven't seen my fiancĂ©e in 5 months. It's tough to go for long periods of separation, but it's a choice you have to make. If you're up for it, ask for it. Then it's up to her to dive in or pull out, but nothing will develop unless you take that risk.

    • We kinda have said about it, I have said to her to just sort of carry things on and see how it goes and she tries too and then gets cold feet again, just really dont understand where the reasoning comes from.

      She said to me as well, that she needs to do this trip on her own but she said she could end up missing me and asking me to fly out and meet her. Might happen might not happen, just a lot of uncertainty really :(

      Im definitely up for it, i sort of know where her head is at but sort of dont either :s

      she's very mysterious sometimes...

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    • Maybe she's been hurt in the past, or maybe she's just not ready for the commitment. Either way that's something she'll need to decide for herself. You can't have it both ways. At some point everybody chooses to take that leap or not. As for the distance and time- it's hard not going to lie. My first trip was when I was 23, and I was with a woman I'd been with for 3 years. By the 6 month mark, she couldn't do it anymore and called it quits. I'm half-way into a 10 month trip now, and things are great. It's very tough, and communication is key. Also, breaking it down into milestones helps too (a special present for the 3 month and 6 month mark, a promise to plan a vacation together for when she returns at the 9 month mark, etc.) Good luck- I wish you the best.

    • Yeh she has and weve already gone over this before that we can't have a relationship but for some reason thr past 2 days I've really been wanting her, think its just her behaviour how she's now acting all distant an stuff its just making me want her more :s

      Im just not sure what to do, maybe im best cutting her off for a while cos im only going to end up hurt and in hurting a bit now, can't really get it off my mind :/

      Thank you, well in going over to hers this weekend for a couple days so guess ill decide aftet that aee what happens this weekend, hard not speaking to her though.

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