Was it a good idea to give him an ultimatum?

I've been on and off with this guy for two years. It got to a point where we were so unhealthy we stopped talking for 2 months. Then last year he started talking to me again, and we finally talked through everything together, we understood how we became toxic, and we started remembering why we'd wanted to give it a go from the beginning.

He also shared with me the fact that there was this girl online, who he'd never even met, that he couldn't stop thinking about. At this point we were just friends so I was supportive and knew I had to let us go, although I felt sorry for him that his situation with her was so hopeless.

We started hanging out more and got feelings for each other again. I knew he really liked me and wished he could stop thinking about the other girl so we could be together. He brought me around his family which he'd never done, took me camping, and we started doing really romantic things for the first time since we met. It felt so amazing and DIFFERENT - apart from the fact that he was caught up in this one girl, which would suddenly downbuzz me quite often, and he would always apologise, because he was confused too.

Over the last couple of days, I have been feelingVERY down about it. How long can I wait? I don't want to be that pining girl, while he's thinking about a girl on the other side of the world who isn't even real because he hasn't even met her in real life, they haven't shared deep things with each other and they've only spoken on Skype very little! It just sucks how she can STILL get in the way of us and make me feel down, even though I know he cares. I kept wondering why I wasn't enough, and felt really inadequate. I told him the only way to get over her would be to stop talking to her, and if he didn't want to, then he needed to tell me so I could back off. He told me I was right but still didn't make a decision so I had to leave... Good idea or bad timing? What can I expect? :(

sorry for the essay! just had to explain


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  • None. Giving someone one just pushes them away

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