When would women actually take card out of their purse?

This question has been nagging me quite sometime. I know that it is almost universal that man pays on first date. And I have no issues with it. In fact I don't have any issues paying for ever. But for some reason I feel it would be nice for a women to insist that they she will take the check at least 1 in 4 times. Is it wishful thinking?

by the way, I was on like 4 or 5 dates with this girl. On the most recent date, she made lamest attempt to pay split the check. When I told her (not insisted) that I will pay, she asked "Are you sure" and I of course said "yes" and paid the bill.

So when is it right to allow women to pay for dinner? or is it that men has to pay all the time. I'm not saying something wrong or right, just wanted to know when

Surprise. Yesterday was the first time that a girl I went out actually made a strong push to split the check. Yes, we are going on a second date.

But I guess it's cultural. American women especially white and hispanic are taught that they must be treated as princess.. blah.. blah.. blah.. The girl I went out yesterday was Indian. She not only made an attempt to split but when I insisted she mentioned that next time is on her. I was thoroughly impressed


Most Helpful Guy

  • No, it is not 'universal' for men to pay on the first date. Whoever asks the other person out, pays.

    And I suppose this woman you're dating will eventually leech a lot of money off you, so better be careful how you proceed with her.

    • Would you mind sharing your personal experience? When you are in 3rd, 4th and 5th date, how would you deal or how did the other women deal the situation when it came to check?

    • To be frank... I haven't had much dating experience in my life. My last relationship ended more than 4 years ago.
      Since I have a morbid fear of rejection, I have never asked a woman out in my life until now. Both the girls I dated, made the first move themselves. The first one turned into a relationship pretty quickly (after just a couple of dates) and we split the bill both times. As for the second one... she belonged to the same category as this woman you're dating. Went on 4 dates, and I ended up paying on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th one (we had split the bill first time). This didn't really turn into a relationship, due to several reasons.

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What Girls Said 2

  • if I intend to pay I make sure I have my card out way before the guy I'm with even plans to take it out.
    That way he kinda has no choice but to let me pay.

    But sooner or later a majority of mydates find ut ha I don't really like when they pay for everything so they let it happen.

    Although my current bf told me once "he's feels bad" when I do it because he knows I don't make lots of money but "let's it happen" because he knows i want to feel useful.

    • To address your update I just noticed I will agree as a Mexican myself that we are told men should spoil us, which is conflicting because we are also told to basically be er ants to our man, cook them dinners and shit.

      I hate it tho

  • I pay a lot for me and my boyfriend, but he's paid some too. We base it on who actually has money at the time lol

    • I think yours might be different story. You are young and sounds like you have a solid relationship going on in love. I was talking about 30 something men and women who actually go on a date (there's no relationship at this point). I honestly envy your relationship

    • I haven't really dated all that much but I know when I did the guy I was dating only paid for me once, I insisted on paying after that cause it made me feel like I owed him something.

      With my boyfriend now it isn't like that, we just love each other and like to make each other happy. I'm sure you'll find that one day :)

What Guys Said 2

  • It's a man's thing to pay, and it's not just blah blah blah American, European, Indian, Arabian, African women are equally

    • I see what you are saying but I fail to understand the logic why a man should pay on so many dates when both of you are working and especially when gender equality and feminism is the talk of the town (which is a good thing)

    • Show All
    • Lol. You are funny dude

    • Lol, I get that a LOT

  • You could go with the woman paying 3/4 as often as you do - that's (roughly) how much women make for the same jobs as men. Or pick places more expensive than the ones she pays at. Or base the ratio of paying on your personal salaries and expenses.

    Or, you know, you could act all 21st century and not make the decision for her, but let her be a part of deciding what she does in her life.

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