How do I get over this pain?

I was sleeping with this guy, and I didn't allow myself to get too close cause I'm always scared of getting hurt. Anyways, I thought I was becoming special to him, and it almost made me feel comfortable in showing him how I feel. And then he ignores me in front of everyone, and acts annoyed with my presence. He texts me that night asking if I'm alright, and I was just being short with him. And I just thought to myself... 'whatever, he clearly doesn't like me so I'll just stop asking him to hang out, i'll wait for him to do it next time' and he doesn't ask once...

and a few weeks later he already has a girlfriend. So basically he chose her over me. I feel so hurt especially because he brought her to a place he knew I'd be at.. It was incredibly awkward and I've been crying all day.

How do I get over this pain? Why on earth would be bring her around me.. just to hurt me? Like what the hell that was so inconsiderate. It was a huge "FUCK YOU" to my face.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's going to take time. If that were me, I'd look at it and see it wouldn't have worked between us anyway. You just saved yourself time in your life. The pain will take time... don't be afraid to get close to people. I do this. I need to work on this. It hurts. You held back and it still hurts. I hold back and it still hurts.
    You want to be there ready to give yourself to the right person. Don't let this bad experiences close you off from the right guy, because he is out there. And why don't you deserve to be happy one day? Don't deny yourself that. Give this time and it will stop hurting. I promise you, if you remember these words, you will look at him (if you ever do again) and just feel nothing. This pain will be hard to remember! It happens!

    • You're right, I just need to forget about him and erase these negative emotions. I'm just struggling to decide if I should go back to that group. We're in the same group at our university and he's the president, and he brought her to that. Next week I'm contemplating on not going.. is that over dramatic if I don't? I usually go but I really don't wanna feel like shit again seeing them together..

    • Show All
    • It's just because he's there and he would ruin it for me, so I might as well not go for a while.

    • I know what you mean, you have to do what you are most comfortable with so if that is what you feel then do not go.

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What Girls Said 2

  • He was trying to get a reaction out of you, don't give it to him. He's being petty and childish, which is pathetic and cringeworthy in my opinion. It says you got to him, more than you know.
    I wouldn't let it upset me so much, I'd be happy that I didn't fall for such a dick.

    • right? such a dick move thats for sure.. well I'll try to not let it get to me but its hard cause it kind of affects my self esteem.

    • I know love, but believe it or not, they want to fuck with your self esteem. Knowing they have that power validates them and their self worth.
      People like this are literally a waste of life. Seriously, allow yourself to feel down for a week, but after that, go live your life. Don't allow him to control your emotions, he's not that deserving. Like... Who the fuck is he, to really dictate how you should feel on a daily basis? Fuck him and good luck to the girl he's stringing along!
      You're the lucky one! I promise!

    • Should I avoid seeing him again? It would make me feel better to stop going to group meetings (where I'm forced to see him). Because now he's gonna start bringing his girlfriend. Ugh I don't want to seem dramatic but I really don't want to feel like shit again. Not even sure why I care so much. Maybe it's Valentine's day speaking for me.

  • I have this fear. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I hope for you that this girlfriend of his is not long term. He most like wanted a reaction out of you or a distraction. If things do piece back together with this guy, please, try your hardest to put yourself first. You don't deserve someone who disregards you and doesn't express your value to them. I hope the best for you, dear.

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