He's not a bf, but he's not just a friend?

my colleague and i, talk heaps etc. we've had sex, like 3 times, sleep overs and things like that.

why does it feel as though he's not just a friend, but he's not my bf either? but we're not seeing each other?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi, well, you obviously have given him the most intimate part of you. And he has known it, there's not really much more to know about you, because for a man, there's no higher bonding experience than sex. We thrust, we sweat, we feel you from the inside. Our soul, heart, and body connects with yours.

    What we feel during coitus is indescribable. It is the fulfillment of all of who we are.

    So you have given him this.

    In his soul, there may not be much more to you.

    It's kind of like paying a guy for a job, before he has even started. Even the most well intentioned builder will have trouble working under such premises.

    This world tells us that sex is no big deal, it's just a workout. But it is so much more. It even transcends the spiritual.

    The reason you feel like he is more than just a friend, is because you have given him access to your body, which, as I said, is the most intimate part of you, aside from your heart. Friends don't just hump each other. Specifically, they never do that, for then they would no longer be friends.

    He does not feel like your BF, either, because it is fairly certain when you describe him as your "Colleague" he has not put the time, effort, sacrifice, and suffering in to tear down all of the walls around his heart, carefully, sweetly, lovingly, take down the walls around yours, giving himself to you, devoting himself to you loving you, denying himself and what he feels he wants (I. E. sex) and getting to understand you more intimately.

    The reason you are not seeing each other is because, as I said, he has already "known" you. The mystery is over. There's no higher peak or plateau to you, as a woman, to him.

    Essentially this relationship was destroyed before it began...

    In the future, turn your heart off (it will lie to you) and listen to your gut instincts. Sex will seem less important when you understand that is all he wants.

    Learn to find a man who will love you for all you are.

    • holy shit, this was so deep.

      when you said like 'put in the time', we never really like talked about what was going on... we started off as friends then we just had sex so

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What Guys Said 1

  • Is this what Robin Thicke meant with his blurred lines song?


What Girls Said 1

  • friend with benefits. tell him if you want more.