Should I get serious with this guy?

This is going to be a long read but it's interesting and I need some insight on it..

I met this guy about almost 2 years ago. He's married and have two little kids. The first 6 months it was all a physical thing between him and I but then things got deeper.

I was in an abusive situation and after those 6 months I felt I could trust him to open up. I told him everything, up to now he knows me better than anyone I've ever met. He's helped me fight a lot of my demons and has helped me come to terms with a lot of things.

Because of him I got healthy, fit, figured out my career I want to get into and helped me find myself. He gave me love when I felt like no one loved me (I seem like a drama queen but it's true, I was badly abused). He smokes a lot of pot, drinks a lot of beer and likes to party (though does that rarely).. He suffers from ADHD but he's amazing with self help.

He's serious about things that need to be serious but has a carefree child like attitude. He wants to leave his wife for me.

I'm just wondering if this was meant to be, if he is acting immature getting involved with me so deep when he has kids, if I should fully give myself to him (I'm really feeling it now), or what I should do? I'm young and inexperienced with this stuff. I'm not sure if I should commit when I'm so young to such a serious relationship or the saying once a cheater always a cheater.. Advice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Unfortunately I don't think no one can say for sure whether you should or not. But if you ask me, I feel like you should go away from this guy... he's married, he has two kids, he cheated on his wife to be with you. You're in for a lot of pain and trouble if you decide to stay with him and make him leave his wife and kids. So think if you're up to it, if you love this man so much that you're ok living with this OR if you might be just overwhelmed by how much he helped you when no one else would. You can cherish this man forever in your heart, but move on. There's so many wonderful guys out there..


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  • You both have issues you need to deal with separately, supporting each other is ok but if he couldn't stay with one wife, how can you trust him. Maybe he's better than what you've ever had but you can do better than him.

    • What kind of issues you think? He's really a pussy when it comes to women and his wife has been super controlling over him for years. But then again, he's the type of person that needs an ass kicking before he makes stupid decisions.

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    • Sometimes I have these moments where we'll be talking and I have an 'ah ha' and think.. This is who I've been talking to for so long? But then I'll need some emotional support (I'm seeking therapy) and I have put him on a pedestal when sometimes I think I shouldn't have but he helped me soooooo much. I'm a different person completely.

    • I'm sure his support meant a lot to you at a time of need, but getting serious with him isn't the only way to thank him. If he was single the whole time its a different story but he was and still is married.

  • It all depends on what you want, I can't really tell you what to do. I would never start a relationship with someone who is already with someone. If he can do that to his wife, then he probably would do the same to me one day.