Dealing with a guy holding a grudge?

I've been seeing this man (38) for 4 months. I'm 33. Several times he has come down with an illness last min to avoid certain things, such as my roomate's party. He acts willing to do things, then admits later it wasn't his thing or wasn't in the mood. One Sat, we went on a date he planned. After that, we both had long hours, so I suggested grabbing a bite after work sometime, even if late. He avoided taking me up on my offer, just wanted to watch movies at 1am with me and sleep. On Sat, we got in a fight after he asked me if I wanted to get take out or go out to eat. When I picked going out to eat, he said he wasn't sure he was hungry, felt sick. I said "Forget it, let's cancel, you were just hungry 5 min ago." I told him it seems like lately he didn't want to talk to me. That while we went on dates, he mostly wanted to text and watch movies. He got really hurt, said he feels I don't appreciate the thought that he put into our last date. Said I blindsighted him by bringing it up the way I did. I told him that I would like him to be honest if he doesn't want to do something. He said he was tired and indecisive. He denies ever pretending to be sick. Said I make assumptions. We had a fight 2 months ago where he was hurt by how I confronted him. He reacted by avoiding several weekends with me. Well after our fight, lo and behold, he was "sick" this fri. When he admitted he didn't want to see me for awhile because he was still upset (even though I apologized and told him how I'll bring up things in the future) We talked, but he became more upset. Said I wasn't hearing him. He ended our phone convo. Said he wasn't happy because I talked on for 10 min w/out letting him interject. Most of what I said was about his sick excuses. He replied yesterday when I apologized for not letting him interject. He said he was still upset. He was being short and curt. Before yesterday he was avoiding seeing me but otherwise normal. Now silence. What's his problem? And what can I do?


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  • He need to grow the fuck up and let issues go