What can I do to attract a quiet nice guy instead of arrogant player type?

So as a shy girl, it is hard to get close to a good guy as i do not have great confidence in myself . So i have left it all to fate when dating someone. Guys who have been forward or, aggressive you might call it.

The unafraid guys with so much charm an charisma but not a true care for you in the end. I've found only one decent guy my first ever bf, he was shy. That was 3 years ago an i went after him in beginning.

It ended an i got my heart broken for first time at,19. It was unbearable but i don't regret being in his life we had great times. Since him I've only had selfish, lying, manipulating, controlling type of men in my life.

I have had 5 bfs. One was controlling and emotionally abusive, another was a player an cheated around an lied about his whole other life, had a child etc. Other guy was compulsive liar, Another was a, boy despite being 27 admitted to having no balls to be honest an that he runs away when things get tough so a commitment phobe.

Last guy i mentioned i met online others i met out in the world . after nights out at takeaway spots an public places. I am sociable but not out every week so i think due to that I've gone for guys who went for me as a confidence boost only to be totally knocked down a lot deeper.

I made mistakes over past 3 years but now i do not know how to trust or even show a shy guy i like i am into him. I don't know what, type of guy he is so it frightens me due to my bad selection in the past i dont trust my choices he is shy, nervous around me but i worry its an act. What do i do to relax around guys an should i be approaching any.


Most Helpful Guy

  • As a "nice guy", i like girls who look kind and sweet. As you mentioned, nice guys tend to be shy so make sure to look accessible and be nice when someone speaks to you for the first time.


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What Guys Said 5

  • Just have more conversations with more people. Every guy you approach doesn't have to necessarily be the guy you're going to marry. Make things casual and less heartfelt, and you will learn more about the guy before making any commitments.

    • Hey great advice will try that

  • so you´re not giving up yet after all? :) thats good. i think you have to be more active if you want a nicer, quieter guy. douchebags will come flying at you but nice, quiet guys are more reserved, thoughtfull and less obvious if they like you.

    • I guess i was kidding myself thinking i didn't want real love. Everyone does. Yeah i know im so shy :(

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    • you sound a bit like you don´t even want to be helped sometimes :) i´m glad to hear that i wasn´t completely wrong about it. you´re welcome.

    • If i didn't want help i wouldn't ask question. Yeah thank you an take care

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  • Read through this chain of links, it should help.

    Just to add, make sure you think about where the kind of guys you want to meet might hang out, and frequent those kind of places.

    • I don't think it's necessarily where i meet a guy i could go church an still find a player or go to museum lol it comes down to luck an judge of character i guess both i got to work on. Thanks i will have a look

  • Just talk to him a lot. In an attractive way. Make it really obvious you like him, and he'll stop the shyness.

    • Ok i will pluck up courage to do so. What about convo starters?

    • That's a hard one. Try compliments. I struggle with the exact sane thing.

    • Ok thanks aw ok then..

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