My friend tells me I got too high standars when it comes to guy, but I dont belive I do?

so my best friend tells me that i have too high standars and im to judgmental when it comes to guys and dating. I know i can be judgmental sometimes, but who isnt?
Tobacco is a big no no for me, and i would never date a guy that i knew used tobacco. My friend tells me that i have to hight standars just because i have a zero tolerence policy when it comes to tobacco. I dont think im expectiv anything unreasonable. yeah about 50% of the guys and girls uses tobacco, so i'm excluding a lot of guys.
What im looking for a guy:
- An athletic guy ( he doesn't need to have six-pack, but just a guy that takes care of himself and someone i can go to the gym with)
- Attractive, he doesn't need to look like super model, and not even close, but at the end of the day i need to be attracted to him
-Is independent, in independent and i expect nothing less from the guy i might date in the future
- Makes me laugh, is kinda etc etc

I don't expect anything from the guys that i can't contrebute with myself. So just 2 weeks ago i met a guy and he asked me out on a date, after first saying yes to the date, and the sooner changeing my mind (he asked me to weeks in advance). My friend got mad at me and told me i was judgmental (he uses tobacco) and i had too high standars. wtf? how is that having hight standars? i wasn't really attracted to him, he used, like i mentioned, tobacco and he was short ( i know im going to get a lot of hate bc of that one). Would you say my standars are to high?

im independent*


Most Helpful Guy

  • How old are you, how old are the guys you're dating and what does 'independant' mean to you.

    • i just turned 20 and i dont really date, what happens is they ask me out and we might go on a date, etc... but where i live its not normal to "date". Anyway, they are normally older, so most of them are 23+, a lot of them are like 24-27. And when i write independent i mean having a job or studying, owning or renting their own house/apartment/bedsit/collective and just in general not being dependent by their parents or grandparents, friends etc

    • The vast majority of guys I knew at 20 were dependent on parents. Because they were still in school.

    • well i live in norway, so going to uni is free and we get support from an organisation called "lanekassen" so pretty much anyone can go to uni regardless of how much money they got, i got no support from my parents and i dont work either

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • I don't think the tobacco thing is a big deal. I'd probably be the same.
    I think your friend thinks you've too high standards cos he uses it too. lol

    Regarding the other stuff you mentioned, that all seems normal and healthy so no problem there IMHO.

  • I wouldn't say your standards are too high. I completely agree 100% with the tobacco thing.
    Excluding that you seem to be asking for a decent looking, nice guy. Not too out of the ordinary at all

    • Thank you! i feel like she indirectly say i can't get a guy that i want and that i just need to settle down with a semi-good guy.. They not be bad people or even unattractive people, but at the end of the day they aren't someone i would date. its almost like she says i can't be picky and i that i shoud just date any guys becauset hey ask me out (i dont get asked out often anyway, but still)

    • Show All
    • well she's not saying that, and thats just my interpretation of that. for all i know maybe she's just trying to help lol

    • Ah, I see. Well regardless of that, I hope you find the guy you're looking for

  • No such thing as too high standards, but if you're not realistic you may have a hard time finding someone.

    • i think i have a bigger problem with confidence then i have with being unrealistic...

    • Other people have standards too, do you match qualities that are popular amongst men?

  • These are not high set standards at all


What Girls Said 2

  • I think it's good that you have standards. You're allowed to know what you like and don't like in a guy. It's called not settling. You know what you deserve and you don't settle. That's a good thing.

  • You want what you want. You just got one life and you have set your conditions. Its a good thing that you won't settle for anything less than what you want and deserve. Its not called being shallow or judgmental its called confidence and faith in yourself.
    I wouldn't personally go for a guy who has a bad habit like that.