Wanting to break up vs. actually confusion?

I'm not sure if my boyfriend flat out wants to break up with me or is truly confused. We live a couple of hrs away from each other and have been dating for 4months. He recently told me that he didn't know if he could continue putting up with the long distance. That he didn't see a future for us. I told him I wanted to try because I really care about him, and that now it was up to him to decide if we continue or stop. He said he was confused, but didn't want to let me go because I'm exactly the kind of girl he wants to date (he's picky). I gave him a few days to decide. He keeps saying he is confused. How confused can he really be? It's yes or no.
Can't take that long to decide (specially because he told me he's been confused for a while). Insight?


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What Guys Said 1

  • He sounds like an analytical type of guy. He is trying to justify the logistics, time and money plus time away from you mixed with his feelings that are also torn between rational and desire for you. His brain is saying it won't work because of the distance and time. His brain is doing all the math calculations and worrying about time and money expenses it will take to maintain the relationship and figuring it isn't worth it. Then his heart is saying you are worth it and he cares about you and wants to be with you. Plus his penis is also saying he should stay with you. With all of these inputs it is really easy to get confused with what to do. So you need to tell him to listen to his heart and penis.

    • If anything, it should be cheaper to date like this. We don't go out as much as a result of being apart. And when he visits, I pay for food and outings.

What Girls Said 1

  • its not yes or no, he doesn't see a future with you and he's doubting the long distance thing. if your telling him to choose. its confusing because he's thinking. here's this girl i like to date, but she's far, im getting tired of that and i dont see a future with her , but she cares for me and I've put four months into this maybe i can try a little longer. vs because i dont see a future with her i can cut it off, and try to find a girl i want to date closer to home, and if i stay with this long distance i loose that chance.
    so its not yes or no, he's debating how much he actually likes you and if its worth pursing or not and that is not an easy yes or no

    • I told him I wanted something serious if he stays with me. That I would not date for the sake of dating or whatever. I wanted a relationship with a future. So he knows that.

    • he knows that but it doesn't sound like he's considering just you he's considering with you. you want something serious ans thats good, but if he doesn't see a future. that leaves him with what if. he's gonna go for his best possibility , however goodluck, the only person who can really answer your question is him