Is it normal that I still can't really *get over* my first crush?

Well really, this is my second crush, but my first crush was at 12-13 and while I felt that was pretty strong, she faded away from my head as soon as summer came.

At 16 (last year), I had my second crush, and in February and March 2014 I was pretty lovesick over her. Even though we hardly talked despite my efforts to try to interact with her more, etc, and throughout those months, I daydreamed, fantasized, and thought about her ad nauseam. 80% of my waking hours during those months, I would spend either be planning out what to say to her (bad habit, that I still sometimes do to a lesser extent), imagining being in a relationship with her and actually playing out all those imaginary scenes in my head, sexually fantasizing about her, or just thinking about her in general.

She implicitly turned me down in March when I actually tried to take a step and ask for her number. Then I tried going for other girls.

I didn't do this with any of the other girls, at least not nearly as much with her. Since this was the first girl (that I was talking about above... if you exclude the first girl I crushed on in seventh grade), I also practically had no thick skin to rejection and was the reason I took such a long time to even start talking to her and took months to ask for her number.

But that infatuation in my heart for her lasted and revived again in the summer which is why upon returning to school, I told her explicitly that I had a crush on her, etc and she turned me down again, so that was that. This was August 2014, and since, we almost never talk (well we never really talked much before either, and she never really showed any interest even for being friends and we hardly knew each other). It's February now, and until now her image remains in my subconscious thoughts.

She is still my go-to for romantic/sexual dreams and fantasies in my head. I mean I definitely realize that I will never get to be with her probably, and have tried with other girls since (but haven't landed a date due to various circumstances which I am working on), and realize that there are other fish in the sea that I will date (when given the opportunity).
But still her ghost remains in my head and I can't 100% forget about her. I still think about her just in general - like I said her images subconsciously stuck in my head even though I don't really think about her subconsciously.

Have you had this experience? Is this normal for someone I hardly even got to knew?

I imagine it's due to all the imagining of being in a relationship I did with her last year (I mean it was my first strong crush so...)


Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel for you anonymous. In my opinion it is normal. The only words I can use to describe the feeling are Cheryl Crow's lyrics to "The first cut is the deepest". The first time you feel any of those emotions about another person can be so profound that it can make a lifelong impact. I too feel the same way about my first crush/love I met at 14 , but it's been ten years since we officially dated.

    • Well then again, as I told the other girl, I didn't really get to get to know her, let alone date er, but rather it was based on intense daydreaming and fantasy of her that I built up in my head as a result of the novelty of having a crush, and consequently, made the mistake of emotionally investing in her merely on the basis of my image of her and our imaginary relationship in my head.

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    • See, I think she wasn't even interested in getting to know me because for months at first I was just trying to talk to her and get her to open up and she wouldn't really much.

      But whatever - that ship has sailed now.

    • At least I told her how I feel eventually.

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What Girls Said 2

  • if you see her everyday then it is normal. i got over my first crush because, well, i only saw him twice in person.

  • It's normal. You never forget your first love. You'll move on but that person will always have a special place in your heart. That's okay.

    • Well, I don't know if it can really be classified as a "first love" when I never even really got to knew her, let alone date her. Rather, it was just the novelty of having such an intense crush at first that led me to daydream about her so much for those couple of months (I didn't do that with any other girls after her) and so consequently, I made the mistake of emotionally investing in her merely in my head (also because at first I was really nervous about doing anything, even though I did eventually).

    • Using this opinion comment as a bump. to generate more traffic.

    • Then it's the first person you thought of in that way. Either way it was something that really effected your heart and that's okay. (Helping you out)

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