It's not really my theory. I've been reading about this and have found a theory that seems to make sense.
Some guys (like me) want to spend a lot of time with their crush. I think this is a perfectly understandable reaction to liking someone. The problem is, if the girl isn't initially attracted to you, she sees you as a good friend. By always spending time with her, talking to her, listening to her, and whatever else you do with her, she is getting everything she wants in your relationship. She has a good friend she wants to spend time with. Therefore, she doesn't want to lose that special relationship with a romantic relationship should things go sour later.
The theory of getting out of the friendzone is to back off. Not completely because she will think you don't like her anymore (as a friend). You just back off in that you don't always make plans with her. Stop initiating the texting, snapchatting, or whatever. Wait for her to come to you. If she acks to to hang out, stop making room in your schedule for her. If you usually stop everything your doing to be with her, stop doing that. But if you honestly have time to spend with her, by all means do so. When you limit yourself to hanging out with her only during these times, you will reduce the amount of time you spend with her But when you do hang out with her, flirt with her subtly. Nothing too over the top, especially if she knows you like her. You don't want to make her uncomfortable.
Now that you aren't spending as much time with her, she will start to miss those times when you hung out all the time. She will miss your close friendship. She will come to you more. And when you flirt with her during the times you hang out, she will be flattered and realize how much she likes hanging out with you. In time, she may start to like you because she wants the relationship back. But now, the only way to get that relationship is through a romantic relationship.
Is this a good theory?
Most Helpful Girl
You don't understand. I decide pretty quickly if I see a guy as a potential friend or a boyfriend. If I thought he was more of a potential bf but we were just friends, it wouldn't change my feelings about him at all (been there done that. ) if I thought of him as just a potential friend and he "backed off" I wouldn't suddenly want him.(been there done that. ) Guys get these silly ideas in their head that they can apply certain tactics to make a girl like them. If she doesn't like you, she doesn't like you. If she likes you, she likes you. Its amazingly simple.
I'd risk a good friendship if it meant a chance with a guy I like by the way...