Being a single (full or part time) parent and dating: do you have any advice, struggles or questions you want to share?

Dating again after having kids - possibly after a long managomous relationship is different from dating prior to kids. Now there are more logistics (eg just to schedule the dates) and there are other people that are now impacted by the relarionship. ----> what have been your experiences (as the parent or child) with single parent dating?


Most Helpful Girl

  • All I have to say on this matter is don't introduce your kids to the person you're dating until y'all become extremely serious. Kids start to get confused and some sad thinking you're looking for someone to replace their mom/dad. Some children like to sabotage home dates so be prepared for that possibly happening. And always make sure whoever you're dating knows you have kids and that you're the primary care for them (or whatever your case is). I can't stand people who act like they don't have kids. Anyways, good luck!

    • That is an interesting comment. I wonder what "extremely serious" is? Is that like, post engagement? Seriously a question I struggle with. I don't want them dealing with transitory relationships.

    • Um I would only introduce the two if I thought they were marriage material. Definitely no moving in together unless married or about to be. It gets really hard for kids at that stage. And some kids get defensive when the new person comes in and tries to discipline them or tell them to do something. Then you have to hear 'you're not my mom/dad! You can't tell me what to do!'. This usually happens if the kids knew their original mom/dad but if we're talking about deadbeats, then it kind of makes this point easier.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • for me i just try to keep the two separate. i dont want to bring a guy around my son unless i know its serious.

    • That makes absolute sense. Now what is the determination of "serious" though?

    • omgosh. well hmm. i have dated a few guys and i let them meet my son, i guess because i just didn't really think about it before. i guess that was just me being young and whatever. now that he is getting older and noticing when i go to work and when i go out i decided that unless something is long term like lasts longer than six months to a year or if i can see myself having a future with the person. id let them meet each other. but it would be after a while like i said

    • That sounds very reasonable.

What Guys Said 2

  • hmm can u describe ur question wt u actually wnt to ask?

    • It's pretty general I suppose. I'm looking for experiences positive or otherwise from parents or children of blended families or families where the parent is currently dating. There are lots of challenges here in the category of "what do you expose the kids to and when"?

  • Don't ever force your kids on your date... or imply in any way that if there's a future, that your date must have some responsibility towards your kids.

    • That sounds reasonable. In fact I wonder if both people had kids prior to meeting and then became serious/got married; how care and discipline would occur? Phase in a blended approach, initially with one parent and the original methods and then slow merge the two families, or all at once post nuptials?

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    • Just curious, are you speaking from a perspective of experience?

    • Yes... indeed. I learned the hard way.