Are you a monogamous person? In a monogamous relationship?
Are you a polyamorous person? In polyamorous relationships?
And why for both?
And if poly how far does your relationship tree branch out
- monoVote A
- polyVote B
Most Helpful Guy
Poly. It is not for everybody, as some people simply cannot work through the poison of jealousy and the fears of being left behind, but there is nothing that can compete with the feeling of true unconditional love. You cannot have unconditional love in a monogamous relationship, though you can still feel love and happiness and satisfaction. But once you have felt what it is to be loved unconditionally you can never go back.
As for my personal relationship tree... I have a wife that I love, two girlfriends that I love, and another that I've just started seeing. My wife has a serious girlfriend. One of my girlfriends is fairly mono, so she only sees me. The other has a husband and another boyfriend. The girl I'm just starting to see has a girlfriend. So, it is not a tree so much as it is a forest. And it is full of emotional support and understanding. It is about connecting with people on a fundamental level and letting them operate as an autonomous individual who has needs and desires that may or may not include you. It becomes a mutual exercise in "what do THEY need", not "what do I need". It is a fundamentally different approach than most relationships, but far more rewarding.
The "they need" vs "I need" is the biggest difference. A loves B. If A thinks "what does B need?" and comes up with an answer like "the freedom to love C", in a poly relationship that's no problem. A can support B in that, A loves B unconditionally, and lets B do what is emotionally needed. A is concerned about B's happiness more than their own. In a mono relationship though, A cannot let B pursue anything with C, because it would make A unhappy. B's emotional needs are less important than A's personal happiness, so A does not let it happen. The excuse of "well, if B loved me then they wouldn't blah blah blah" means NOTHING. This is about A, and their concern for B. Whether or not they want what will make B happy, without condition, or not.0