I think I just don't know how to be a girlfriend. What's wrong with me?

https://thoughtcatalog. com/january-nelson/2012/06/i-dont-know-how-to-be-in-a-relationship/

I found this article online. It fits me perfectly. I've been talking to a guy for almost a year. We were sort of friends with benefits, I guess? We didn't call each other girlfriend/boyfriend, but we acted like it, I suppose, without the titles. Now that he's opening up, I feel suffocated and trapped? I'm now doubting my feelings for him, which were just there. How does that change in a matter of days when he's done nothing wrong except open up to me more? I have a really low self-esteem, and maybe that's my problem. Something in my mind is like, "Break up with him. You're doubting your feelings for him, and it isn't fair to him." But I don't want to! I want to love him, but I don't know if I know how to. And what if I'm never able to? I've been freaking out for quite some time over this and it's caused me so much anxiety/depression. I don't want to give him up, so why am I asking myself if I actually like him? Is it just that I have the same problem as the girl from the article? I don't understand. I was perfectly happy before and then all of a sudden I'm doing this. He's amazing and I don't wanna ruin it with him. :( I just want it to be like it was a few weeks ago. What do you think I should do?

(I had to put a space between the. And com so that it would let me post a link because I'm not actually at the level where I'm allowed to do that yet... Oops.)

Is anyone else like this or dealt with a bf/gf like this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I am the same way. Whenever things start going good I do something to push them away then regret it. I literally just did this last night. I feel like he may be interested now and I'm starting to question myself. After talking it out with a friend I realized you just have to let down your guard and give it a shot. But personally, I would only do it if I 100% knew he was interested.

    • Do you question your feelings for him and start to convince yourself that you don't? That's my problem. I'm afraid that I don't know if I like him as much or that I like him less than I did before. And how is that possible when I just did, you know? He's amazing and I think it could work with him, so I don't know what's wrong with me.

    • I start to convince myself that there's no feelings until eventually he's just a hookup for me. They only start to come back when he acts like he has feelings too and even then I always convince myself that he's just being friendly. Like I said, you just kinda have to let your guard down and go for it. You can't let your self esteem or being hurt in the past keep you from it otherwise you'll never get nowhere. Trust me, I learned it the hard way.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Take a chance. You never know if he's meant for you.

  • That's why you date! So you can learn :)