What if I like her friend more?

A year ago my friend introduced me to his wife's friend at their wedding. We had actually met before and had a great time that night but I soon moved away. Soon after she told me on Facebook that our friends planned to set us up on a double date with them but never did. I suggested we do something next time I was back in town and she agreed but I didn't know when that would be. We kept sending very long messages to each other on Facebook for a couple months and we both shared a lot about ourselves. I called to ask her out one weekend when I'd be in town. She couldn't but wanted to try again later. Eventually we both became busier with school and lost touch. The whole time I was trying to figure out if I liked her or not. Some things about her are awesome and other things make me lose interest. I figured we hadn't interacted in person enough to be sure.
I saw her once in summer and there were a couple other failed plans to meet. She still texted me every few months but asked the same questions.
Recently I texted her but she didn't recognize my number. She just liked a couple of my FB posts so I knew she hadn't forgotten me completely. She asked when I'd be in town. I told her I would be the next weekend. She would be gone with her best friend but said she'd be back before I left and wanted to meet up. I called that weekend and she said they wanted to stop and say hi on her way home. I had seen her friend with her in pictures before but never met her. I remember thinking her friend seemed more like my type, but didn't give it any more thought. When they stopped by she acted differently and forgot things I've told her many times. I realized after they left I was definitely more interested in her friend. It felt like the first girl saw us more as friends anyway. They both want do something with me when they come to my town in spring. Her friend seemed to be interested but seemed to hold back at times. I'd love to hear a woman's interpretation and suggestions. Thanks

Also, it felt like the first girl was introducing me to her friend intentionally. She would tell me stuff about her like she was trying to get us to talk to reach other and any future plans we discussed were involving both of them. Her friend already knows my mom and sees her regularly. She has also met my sister and one of my best friends. The first girl met my best friends but didn't remember them at all.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Tread lightly, my friend. I'm just afraid someone's feelings might get bruised. Does sound like girl A. likes u but maybe he life is too busy to take on a committed relationship. With that being said, I feel that u find an interest in girl B. because the two of u have things in common. Bottom line u r not in a relationship with either one. I suggest getting to know them. both better and picking the one u find more suitable to u. I hope this helps at least a little :)

    • It does help. But I'm wondering why you think girl A likes me. Lately it feels like she was just interested because our friends were trying to set us up but really, my friend never was able to find girls I like and she and his wife were not really close friends. She even deleted my number. Like you said I'm not in a relationship with either one. I still haven't even dated girl A. When I met girl B, I wanted to get to know her better but felt bad shifting attention to her from the girl I already knew. Seemed like she was holding back questions at times because of her friend. I don't think girl A even talked to girl B about me very much before meeting me even though they've been best friends for a long time. Girl A always seems to be avoiding a date with me despite the fact she brought up the idea a year ago. Anyway, what's the best way to go about getting to know Girl B better?

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    • No honey that wouldn't be wrong, u like who u like. What's the crime. I would ask girl A. For girl B. s number or email or something. Don't miss an opportunity just because u will feel guilty. There's no reason to feel that way.

    • Ty for MHO :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • I agree with the other opinion here. Go slow and be honest. If you start dating one of them, that puts the other girl into the off limits category. Be honest with yourself as well. Sounds like there is some distance between you and the women. If this will put stress on the relationship it may be wise to keep it simple until your life is a little less busy

    • Yeah, I'm not letting it consume me at this point. I'm also trying not to lead the first girl on because that's happened to me before. My only purpose trying to date her was to get to know her better in person. But now she seems less interested in dating. But I also think she might be nervous about dating one on one because she goes on a lot of group dates or something.

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