How do I get them off my back?

So 3 days ago I told my parents that I have a boyfriend (for the first time) and it was such a debate in my mind because I was so scared to tell them but, with the support and advice of my friends I got the courage and said "Mom, Dad I have a boyfriend we've been dating for 3 weeks and I think it's time I tell you." and the reaction I got was shocking. They told me I was too young to be dating and that boys at my age were stupid and unstable and that I should be focused on school and track yet Track practices haven't even started in my school district yet and my grades are the highest I've ever been. They also are huge hypocrites seeing as how they had their first child at 16. They haven't even met my boyfriend yet so how can they honestly jump to the conclusion that he's like everyone else. Sometimes I honestly get the feeling that they try to live their life through me and its the worst feeling to be told you're not allowed to be happy from your parents. I'm living with them until I graduate highschool and go off to college so disobeying them seems so rude to me after they've done so much but, is there anyway I can change their minds? They've been like this since my freshman year and I don't think I can take it anymore. What do I do?

  • Yes, it's possible to change their minds
    Vote A
  • No, they're set in their ways
    Vote B
Select a gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've been in this situation before (Asian family and all). And all I can tell you is this girl.

    There comes a time where you've gotta put your foot down and stand for something you believe in. BUT, just because you put your foot down, DOESN'T mean you have to do it in a rude way, in fact, it's CRITICAL you hold your ground with respect.

    Make sure you know all the lessons they've tried to tell you and why, make sure they also know that your studies and your education self-progress is also first priority (don't lie, the truth of the matter is, they're right on this part, your growth and progress should come first).

    Even if they flip out at you, they HAVE to understand that at the end of the day, your life is YOURS to live, NOT theirs.

    • I picked B, they're probably set in their ways mentally. Probably.

      They may not like it, but they're going to have to put up with it. Healthy, independent thinking is natural for a young adult like yourself. You can't live your through someone else's cookie cutter ideals.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Most youth your age do not have much of a dialogue with their parents beyond arguements , so you are already ahead of the curve. Just sit down with them and explain exactly what you just told us here and go from there. I feel if you are capable of being able to talk to your parents like you stated them they do value you and your feeling. Do please understand that in their eyes they are trying to protect you from the big bad wolf so to say. Just erasure then that their worries are duly noted and that their opinion does matter to you. Good luck

  • But because they had a child at 16 doesn't mean your going to make their mistakes, they have to trust the way they raised you and the choices you make.


What Girls Said 1

  • I think that you're parents are being overprotective because they might want you to avoid the mistakes they made when they were younger. I kmow that sometimes they can be extremely irrational and it feels at times that their main purpose is to bring you down, but that's definitely not the case. The fact that they're all up in your business is because they simply care about you and want to protect you from harm. If you feel like you're absolutely ready for a boyfriend, gently explain your standpoint to them. Tell them how you feel in a respectful and mature way. That way they'll actually listen to you and will give you a chance to live your life they way you want to.