I can't stop being paranoid about my significant other cheating, or even just being inappropriate? I need advice?

I've been cheated on by my two long-term, serious boyfriends. I was blind-sided when I found out both times because there were so few signs of anything going on. It completely screwed with my trust and turned my world upside down, I couldn't believe that these people I loved and trusted would do that to me. One time was hard enough, but then it happened again with someone else. All of my best friends have been cheated on by their boyfriends/husbands too.

To make matters worse, I'm often on the receiving end of attention from men that are in committed relationships. Some are blatant about wanting to cheat with me, and others are more subtle and flirty. I guess they think it is "innocent." They may not be saying "let's sleep together" but I still think it is inappropriate and disrespectful to go behind the back of your partner and let other women know you are interested in them in ANY capacity outside of friendship. It is a slippery slope, and often that behavior leads to cheating.

Now I have a new boyfriend and I am so paranoid that he is just like all these other guys messaging girls all the time, being flirty, and seeing where it could go if the girl lets it. Because some guys are SO good at hiding it, I don't know what to do. My boyfriend is extremely good looking, and prior to committing to me, he was seeing a number of girls. I just feel a knot in my stomach. How do I make this feeling go away? I hate it and it isn't fair to either of us.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • once bitten, twice shy. All of us aren't the same.

    • if he shows signs he's not loyal, then go, as for me, I am guarded and I dont trust many. I been burned bad by my ex fiancee, so I know what your saying.

What Girls Said 1

  • Some people are never the same once they've been cheated on a bunch. This makes us "damaged". It does suck for both persons. One guy on this site made a big article on never to date a damaged girl and made him self seem to be the best guy in the world for having that opinion. he's obv an ash-hole. When i feel that way about that my bf may be cheating, its a red flag that i am not going to get past having this doubt. So i break up with him. Its just how i have become and i have accepted it.

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