Why won't they either start dating or move on?

My ex and I were pretty serious. We were together almost 2 years. Near the end he pulled away. I'm not sure why, I don't think he knows either, but all he can tell me now is that he doesn't love me anymore and he likes the new girl he's been hanging out with since the break up. He said he misses what we had. But I'm thinking obviously not enough.

What I don't get is, if he likes her, if his feelings for her have grown while his feelings for me have faded as he said, why don't they either date or break it off? Right now, they like each other, but won't date mainly because she is very conservative and religious and he isn't, among other things (their work won't allow them, I think they annoy each other sometimes, etc...whatever).

But they still hang out and obviously still have feelings for each other. Why not just either try to date or break it off?

He also told me he thinks he and I were a better match than he and her. But, he probably doesn't really think that.

He does not talk to me, unless I go to him. Which I have done a few times for answers.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like this "new girl" is imaginary to me.. Not dating, she's religious, he's not, etc and so forth... If if she is real- he's not happy with her, he said so himself!

    I think its his business on who he dates, I know your just looking for an answer- but don't let it bug you, let this guy live and speak his peace. You have your peace and your own life to live.

    This situation is so cloudy and so many "if-then's" that I wouldn't wanna be a part of it- I would walk away and find someone new.

    Good luck


    • She's real. We all live together in the dorms on our campus.

      I wish I could find somebody new...

    • Show All
    • He and I didn't fight that much though. We talked about what our wedding would be like down the road even just a week before he started to show signs he was pulling away.

      He's not a commitment phobe though. And even if the thought of marriage scared him, it wouldn't make him fall out of love with me.

    • You're right, but at the same time something is bothering him, I'm not sure what because it is so cloudy to my perception. Needless to say, he is with someone else. If I were in your shoes I would work on advancing my own life so that I can eventually become what I want to be (A nurse in my case)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Honestly, I think you are out of the picture in his mind. The only reason I say that is because he doesn't make an effort to speak to you. I think he has a problem with starting a new relationship after his old one broke up.


What Girls Said 1

  • Ive been asking the very same question...part of me thinks he is just having his cake and eating it too, but another part of me believes if he really liked this other girl then he wouldn't talk at all, even if it isn't him doing the running...i mean when you first meet someone you really like all you can think about is them and they are all you want to talk to...so therefore ex's would not enter their head and they wouldn't bother replying they would be too busy with this new person in their lives...and they wouldn't jepordize their possible new relationship for an ex...so maybe he wants to be over you but isn't just yet...

    • Great perspective!! +1

    • I don't get how you can have such a hard time getting over somebody if you don't love them.

      The truth is, I just want it to go back to the way it was so bad, and I don't understand why it had to end when everything was going fine.

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