Is distancing myself from this girl the best decision to make here? What do you think of this girl/guy friendship?

So this girl considers me her best friend, and she's mine as well. We met 2.5 years ago and have become very close. We spend a lot of time together and do everything together. When we first met I asked her out and she told me, "your too young for me, lets just be friends." She's 4 years older than me, and now she's 30 and I'm 26.

I did move on, but since we spend so much time together I was never really able to move on for good and started to love her. I realized that I need to distance myself as the only way to get over her. Because she sends mixed signals and it's confusing to me.

Like she get's too touchy with me, linking arms when walking or resting her head on my shoulder. We were at a casino, and she would put her hand on my thigh when sitting next to me playing slots. And she would grab my hand and squeeze it when i thought we were doing a high-five lol.

Just little things like that is confusing because we have a really close "friendship". All our friends think that there's something going on between us. Because she invites me to sleep over her house when she's sick, or when her parents go out of town. We plan vacations together and she always assumes that I'm going to go with her and stay with her.

We watch TV and hangout almost every night. I always go over her house and she's never come over my house to hang out, but I don't care about that b/c her house is great. Plus she lives with her parents and they both love me.

I'm distancing myself and it's been 9 days since we last saw each other. She's txted over the weekend randomly just to try and make conversation, and asked me to hang out but i said I couldn't. Today she made me promise that we would hang out and I agreed, but I really want to tell her something came up and i can't come over.

I lied and said i was going away this weekend so she wouldn't contact me to hang out, but she will still text/call me to ask how my trip is. It's things like that where she always checks on me.


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What Girls Said 2

  • I think distancing yourself is a good idea because the more you spend time with her the more attached you are going to get to her, but you should also talk to her and tell her how you feel about her and that her mixed signals are confusing you. Ask her if she would consider a relationship with you and if she doesn't want that then you may need to stay away from her from a awhile because you don't want to get hurt.

  • Maybe she regrets telling you she wasn't interested after all it takes some people a while to get to know someone before an initial attraction begins. Maybe you two should sit down and talk about this. Distancing yourself might seem right for you but she might not understand why you keep doing this unless you sit her down and tell her your feelings for her haven't went away.


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