Some mixed emotions help please?

Last summer i met a guy. We will call him Guy#1. Guy #1 worked in the same location, but not together. Met him buying coffee one day. We hit it off and date for a few weeks, strong connection, really excited about him.

Then one day guy#1 tells me he's been talking to his ex still, they were engaged and he's sorry for leading me on but he wants to try to make it work with her. I was really disappointed. But over time I let it go and we became friends until his fiancee had a problem with that (which again I understood) so we stopped talking). I lied to his fiancee about him because even though I had wanted him, I wanted him to be happy more. SO I said nothing really happened between us. I wouldn't have lied for just anyone.

I still see him off and on at work and really missed him and his friendship. About 3 months ago I met a really reallly nice guy. We are dating now, (guy#2) but the spark isn't the same. Also guy #2 is looking for a job in another city so there's that, but he's a real boyfriend.

On Saturday guy#1 stopped by out of the blue and it was great until he told me they were on a break. After asking me about my bf and life he told me he really wanted me and still did. Even though we don't talk he sitll thought of me all the time. I told him I really wanted him too, but he needed to figure things out with her before letting me or anyone else get in the way. I wanted to tell him that, I sitll think of him, but I didn't... I could catch him alone at work and if I did

I would say, that no matter what happens I'd hope we could be friends but that even though we don't talk I still thought of him too... So he should do what he needs to do, but he should know on some level I'm still going to be there when he figures it out. Is that crazy? He started this, by coming to me first...

Oh and guy #2 has told me multiple times if he leaves he would't do distance and I am still in grad school for at least 1.5 more years. That is a big part of why I would think twice


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  • Okay, hard. Guy #2 doesn't look committed to me. I mean, if he's planning to move out he could include you in his plans, like if it's only going to be 1.5 years apart you could try to have a long distance relationship, you could travel to see each other or something like that. Is not that hard if you are really committed. This is not the case for what I read here. I think he wants to move on after he moves. I wouldn't put much illusion into someone like this. He's not even trying with you, sorry.

    Guy #1 seems to be really confused and doesn't know what he wants either. He has to officially break up with this girl before he can even say those things to you and you have to be clear with him about it, tell him that he knows that you want him and that he can't come to you in need just because he's having trouble with his gf. Tell him that he knows how you feel and that he needs to make a decision soon because you won't be waiting forever, but don't let him play with your mind because... you know where that will end and is not going to be good for you. Take care of yourself, be clear with both of them and give them an ultimatum. Is obvious that you like #1 better because you have a connection with him, but he's no stable right now, so deeply think about it. good luck

    • Thanks I will "run into one" and try get some clarity out of two. I would like two better if he didn't tell me he wanted to leave and wouldn't do distance