Do you think people who show a lot of interest quickly also tend to lose it quickly?

So this girl I messaged off OkCupid on Monday showed a ton of interest that night and yesterday. She gave me her number in her first response to my message. She acknowledged our common interests, asked what my intentions were, and said she's a hopeless romantic.

Yesterday, she added me on Facebook, told me how much we have in common and that I'm exactly like her, asked about meeting up and said I should move into the city with her, sent me flirts through Facebook, and pictures of her with her cat saying hi.

Today when I texted her, she gave like one word responses and barely initiated text where yesterday she'd send like 5 at a time. Now she's very cute and we do have so much in common but I'm wondering if people who show a lot of interest quickly like she did, lose it early due to past experiences.

One time I had a girl who I had a lot in common with, always begged me for my attention, was very direct with her interest in me, and the moment I showed interest back, it made her back off. That really fucked with my head and made me hesitant to get involved emotionally. Turned out she used me as a rebound.

Now I don't think this new girl is on the rebound, but when someone moves too fast, I think it can cause me to move too fast and screw up.

Do you ever think girls come on too strong like this to see If you're clingy or not a challenge? If so, I think it's bullshit. It's like they chad you a lot and then the moment you show any interest back, they think you're the one with the problem.

Luckily, there's other girls I'm talking to and I'm not putting my eggs in one basket.

I just wonder if I should act uninterested so this girl wants me more as we do pretty much have everything in common.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You definitely want to be a challenge. In fact , that one of the 3 core pillar :
    Confident, Control, and Challenge. Not putting all your eggs in one basket is a good step in the right direction yep.

    Do act interested, but your interest should never be above her.

    • Is asking questions like hey how's your day or questions about her smothering or not making me a challenge or appearing overly interested? I know it's over analyzing but I definitely didn't show nearly as much interest as she has. I think showing interest is a double standard.

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    • Yeah I know, I'll stop worrying about it.

    • It's just sometimes I don't know if I'm doing too much or too little at times because a lot of girls I've dated the last year would flake after 2-4 dates without explanation. nots like well hit it off and theyll say thanks for the drinks, food, etc it had a great time as well as suggesting another date and then out of nowhere they pull a 180 and flake. Stupid how a few bad experiences can ruin it for you.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • yeah girls want you to want them but as soon as you do they've "won" and they're like byeee, or you said something to piss them off

  • yes. they get a high off of the new. bored with the old.

    • Yeah sometimes I get worried when I find a date that I'm very interested in, in the sense that they might find out and get turned off. Now that's not to say I get that way with EVERY girl I date obviously but when I see a girl I have a ton in common with, is very cute, and shows tons of interest, it's easier to get attached and focus on them more than other prospects. Know what I mean?

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    • dON'T hiT heR!! She's just a little girl!!!

    • Yeah I'll back off a little bit. I'm just not used to someone showing that much interest early on and really I'm jw how to handle it that's all.

What Guys Said 2

  • Yes. Quick to fall in, quick to fall out.

    • Yeah or easy come easy go

  • Seems to be that way

    • Any experience with that?

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    • No actually. Your question perfectly describes a lot of little flings that I have had.

    • Gotcha. Yeah For me with dating sites, I've met a lot of girls off here and it would only last 2-4 dates tops and then I'd never hear from them. It's like they'd show out of interest first then lose it and would leave without any explanation, even though they'd ask for another date. Is this what you're experiencing?