Haters gonna hate - but how do I effectively "string him along"?

There's this guy I've dated for some months now - we were together for 2 weeks before I broke it off. He's a cool guy to hang out with, but waaay too feminine for my type. I would almost guess he was gay - so there's no hope for the long-term, I lost all my attraction to him.

He wants all or nothing, whereas I want friendship and to keep him in my life. The first time his buddy caught me on Tinder, he ended things. I somehow managed to get out of it and he gave me another chance. To him we were "together", to me we were friends until I found someone better. His buddy recently saw me on Tinder again, and this time he broke it off for good... until I texted him and said I was gonna date other guys... then he called me and said he'd be willing to hear me out. Do you have any tips on how I can keep him as a friend without it going further? He told me that we're either together, or he won't be in my life at all.

Just to clarify - we saw each other basically every day for 4 months - we were "official" for 2 weeks. I'm used to having lots of daily contact with him, so losing it would come as kind of a shock. That's why I wanna remain friends. :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Look, as someone who did this to a girl for about 3 years, I now feel fucking horrible for it and regret not just telling her how I really felt, so she could move on from me. I hurt her so badly the entire time because I was too selfish to let her go; loved her as a friend, she wanted more.

    Don't be as selfish as I was, please. Would you want him to do it to you if you were attached and he wasn't?

    I don't want to come across as a hater either - just my honest advice/opinion. If you really want to string him along... well, if you've got a heart, it'll only come back to make you feel permanently guilty later on.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

What Girls Said 3

  • Sorry, but you can't always get what you want. You want to remain friends, he doesn't want to. You're going to have to just let him go. It's cruel and unfair to continually give someone hope that things will progress into something that they never will. If he's not comfortable just being friends, you have to respect that.

  • Well if he wants all or nothing and you can't give him that then you should probably just leave him be. It's not fair to him. You either. He's always gonna want more and you obviously don't want to give that to him. So respect him enough to let it go. You can try to explain to him that you really just wanna be friends, but it's hard to turn feelings off. If he doesn't want to be friends then that's his right. Don't be selfish.

  • Let him go. He's controlling esp after dating for two weeks. He is clingy and needy when in a relationship. To me it's a red flag that he wants all or nothing after a few weeks of dating.

    He may cool to hang with on occasion but what's the big deal about hanging out with him? Why is it so important to you?

    You are just gonna keep disappointing him and then having to explain what you did/are doing. It's seem futile to me. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

    If you want to keep him as a friend, then explain once and for all the rules of that friendship. If he takes, all good. If he doesn't, still all good.

    • Even after the update, you are still at odds. He thought you were together and you were waiting until someone better came along. It's all about you, you, you and even more you. You are being so disrespectful towards this guy who has feelings for you but you are comfortable playing with his feelings for you. Explain to him that your friendship will only ever be a friendship and nothing more and if he can't handle that, then let him go.