Am I wasting my time?

So this guy and I are coworkers. We get along great and there's great chemistry. We've known each other for about seven months now. I started having feelings for him last October. We would talk and act "flirty". He would fling rubber bands at me, send me emails at work that he knew would make me laugh, etc. In the beginning of February , our coworkers started to pick up on hints. They would say that they see us being flirty and that they couldn't tell if I was interested in him, but that he was definitely interested in me.

Our work had a Disney day and he had two tickets. He asked me if I wanted to go and I said yes. Turns out he wasn't able to go because of jury duty. He and I made plans to hang out the next day and go see a movie (first time we hung out outside of work). He picked me up from work, went to the movies, and he asked if I wanted to go get dinner or call it a night. We went to eat and the night felt like a date, but we didn't know what to call it.

I eventually told him how I felt and he said he liked me the same way, but doesn't know if he likes me enough to try out a relationship and have it lead to disappointment. I asked him what that night was and he said it felt like a date. We talk much more now and we're more open and honest with each other. He asked me if I told my family everything that has been going on and he told me that he has told his parents. He wondered what my family thought. He's stated before that we're not just coworkers, we're friends too and that we can hang out whenever we like.

Where I'm getting at is this: he's never had a serious relationship before and he's extremely shy. I understand that he might want to be friends first and then see, but let's be honest, am I wasting my time with trying to get anything further than friendship?


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What Guys Said 1

  • If it feels right, it probably is right. You both seem to be very analytical, which is a mechanism to cope with personal fears or minimize the risk of a heartbreak. Go with the flow and if he doesn't man up about it then you will feel that you are wasting your time. Being shy is not a bad thing, but there is a fine line between being shy and being a wuss. Take it step by step without labeling it and defining it and listen to your inner voice. He probably has no clue how to handle this so do give him time also. A relationship without friendship is worth nothing, so you already have a good basis.


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