I like this guy and he likes me, and we are kinda seeing eacother. I found him attractive from the day i met him and apparantly he felt the same, but im very insecure and i didn't really realese thise before i met him.
I freak out and overanalyze everything, i try to find flaws about him (most lately so i will justify to myself why i shouldn't be in a sitaution im not used to and feel isnecure about, aka dating a guy i like). Im affraid he will find me boring, and im afraid he won't find my scars and my hair (body hair) or my body (i have muscles) attractive and i ask my self "why does he even like me?".
I mean he even told my sister how amazing he thought i was, and on his behaviore i can tell he want more then just sex. He is cute and weird (like me) and he as gorgouse eyes (i smile just tinking about it).. And even with all these obious signs i freak out because its a presure on me to make him like me (more) and want to continue dating me.
I need help with this insecuritiy because i really don't want to date someone/be in a relationship with someone when i go around feeling like shit because i think he will dump me
Most Helpful Girl
Girl, I am in the same boat you are but I've been with my boyfriend for quite some time and I'm going to tell you right now, changing yourself to not be insecure is quite the task. I am still working on it and it's been almost a year, but he is insecure as well. When you're in a relationship, it becomes less about the insecurity and more about the trust you have in your partner. You have to trust that he won't leave you, you have to trust that he is attracted to you and only you, just just have to trust him in all aspects of things. I'm not sure how to explain changing your insecure behavior because I find I have to push myself not to be insecure about a situation to make myself okay - if that makes sense.
For example, say you two are dating and he wants to go to a party with a couple of friends. My insecurity tells me that even though he is a big guy, he will get drunk quickly and fall into bed with another girl who is prettier than me. But the small, normal voice inside of my head shouts at me and reminds me that I have to trust him because we compromised and told me he will text me the whole time, call me when he is there, call me when he leaves, and give me a friends phone number so I can keep extra tabs on him. Not only that, but he assures me that I am the only girl he is in love with and he has no desire to spare another girl a glance.
Therefore, the two balance each other out and instead of being stressed at home, staring at my phone waiting for his texts, I can just relax and have trust in my boyfriend that he won't do anything to hurt me.
I hope this kind of helped, I explained it as best I could!0