Desiring personality traits that I have only seen exist in literature/fiction in a female? Do they exist in a real human?

I've discovered that I can't date a girl unless she's into certain things, and not into certain thing's. I keep running into girls who claim they are, and slowly reveal they lied as time passes hoping my type wasn't set in stone... But it is, and this has resulted in me losing hope that anyone out there exists that would result in us being a good match together.

Personally I enjoy tv shows, movies, anime, books, and game's. I love a good storyline especially if the characters are memorable. I've noticed that I start to feel joy from seeing certain characters have these traits. My best examples are from the anime series Oreimo, and Lucky Star. They both have a female who does not match with what is known as the stereotypical female anime fan. They are viewed as strange to other characters for having tastes that are usually garnered by males rather than females. This trait they have is beyond enticing to me. The thought becomes the only thing I end up caring about when imagining the relationship I hope to be lucky enough to get into. I could care less if a girl is beautiful, or fit. If I can share views, and personal thoughts with a girl, and have her understand because she shares those same types of thoughts, and view's... To be able to indulge in a conversation with her about things that you just can't with a friend. It's all I can think about...

I just can't seem to find proof a girl like that exists. Even in fiction I really can only find those two examples of that personality... I know people say "Everyone is different, and there's someone out there for everyone" but.. Is there? Is everyone really so different? Lately it feels like personality traits have a norm, and anyone outside that norm is deemed as wrong. That person gets looked down on for it. So perhaps it's just that people hide who they are, and are scared as I am to be myself in front of someone else... So figured I would ask here.

Thanks in advance to anyone who has read this.

Asking here was kind of a let down. Lol. The only responses I got was a joke answer which did give me a smile, and the other was not an answer at all but rather an attempt at asking me why I want to know... To anyone else who has been wondering this same thing. I discovered the answer elsewhere.

The answer is yes. Extremely rare though. Just knowing girls who are that unique, and rare is enough to make me glad though. Humanity does have some gems among the bland!~


Most Helpful Guy

  • You seem unusually obsessed with a fantasy image you have.

    My own experience is that matching interests isn't even a major factor in a successful relationship, let alone the core one.

    • Yeah. Usual is the issue...

      For me matching certain interests is important especially if I feel I otherwise can't be myself in front of the person I would want to be with. Even if it's not the core factor it is still a factor, and for me it is a core factor since I don't really care for looks. So all my egg's are in the personality basket when it comes to what I need in a partner.

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    • " I don't understand where this question is coming from though." I know some people where it's very hard for them to not get locked into certain topics. It doesn't bother me much. But I can see how if they get locked into certain topics it would seem obvious to them that they'd need a partner who shares those interests.

      Unrelated to that specific point, my main personal hobby is boxing. But most of my free time is spent with my wife and children, and there are many things we enjoy doing together. Boxing is something I do separate from them. It's actually -extremely- healthy to have a mix of 'couple' things and 'apart' things in your life, as it helps keep you as distinct individuals who enjoy each other and are attracted to one another.

    • The question is specifically from a "I want to find out if females have this trait that means they would share this passion." stand point. Having a one way conversation is not enough for that kind of thing when you want to converse with that person, and not just to them. I don't understand the point in telling me someone might not share my passion. The point of my question was because as far as I have ever known no females share that passion, or have that trait. I'm seeking the knowledge of if it exists outside of those fictional example's that do.

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What Girls Said 1

  • So, all you want is a girl that can understand you and that you can be completely open with?


What Guys Said 1

  • Real women cannot fly or cook.

    • Neither of my examples have the ability to fly so not sure what you meant by that. Although I am sure there are real women out there who can cook. o. o Thanks for the answer. Not quite what I was looking for but I appreciate the effort.

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    • There's a first time for everything.

    • Not everything.