No dating now, but later?

I asked out a friend a few weeks ago. She said she wanted some time to think. She took the weekend and sent me an e-mail the night before she and other mutual friends were coming over.

"I took a couple of days to figure out what I wanted to tell you, & I’m still not really sure, but you deserve better than me going back and forth forever. This is the best I’ve got for now: I’m not really interested in going on dates with anybody at the moment, but I think you are awesome & I enjoy hanging out with you, so I hope we can continue doing that."

I told her of course I was fine with that, and we have continued our friendship. Last night, we went out together alone for the first time. We sat around and taught each other games and had some beers. What we thought would be 2 hours was 4.5.

In talking about food, I told her I'm not a great cook, but I've never cooked for our large group of mutual friends who are always over because it would a Thanksgiving dinner undertaking. We also talked movies and she expressed a big desire to catch up on the past couple Marvel films. I told she should come over for both. She said "I think that would be a lot of fun!"

So obviously, we have fun together. I'm not trying to rush things, but I don't want to always be friend zoned.

Would it be appropriate to say "I know you said you didn't feel you had a dating answer at the time, and if you don't want to date right now, I respect that. I like having you as a friend and spending time with you. If you ever were interested in going on a date, would you let me know?"

How's that?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Yes, you can say that. I'm in a similar situation myself, and if a guy would say that it wouldn't bother me I would just get annoyed if he kept pressuring me.

    • Would you still be cool hanging out with him, including coming to his house and watching movies, which is something you've done 4 times before, at least with others?

    • If I knew he wouldn't make a move on me, yes absolutely.

    • good to know. I will see her on Sunday and Tuesday, first at a friend's gathering, then I organized a bunch of us going for St. Patty's day beers.

      Obviously we talked about me cooking and playing a movie. I want to bring that up to her next time I see her, but where do I fit this in? Is it weird to be like 'I respect no dating, but when do you want me to cook for you and play that movie you're dying to see?'

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