My first 'date' ever. Need some advice please?

I like this girl (we're both 16 years old and in high school) and we've been texting quite a lot. I think she likes me aswell, and I'd like to ask her out. I haven't talked a lot to her in real life, but via text i have.

Next week we have test week (there will be a lot of tests during the week, but they're only in the morning, so we actually dont have school in the after noon). So I thought on asking her on Monday if she'd like to go out with me (somewhere during the week), but shall I ask her to choose a date together (the day of the date, not the date itself)? Or shall I come with an suggestion and she can see whether she will be free on that date, or eventually take another day for the date?

My idea for the 'date' was to eat an ice cream together, so we can also talk while eating (i dont know her very well, so i can get to know her better). Also, shall I pay her the ice cream, or does she have to pay it herself? (i would think i have to pay it, because im the one asking her out)

Also, when the 'date' goes really well, shall I ask her to be my girlfriend then? Or do we have to go on another date then? And shall I hug her at the end of the date?

Thanks if you read all of this.
This will be my first date ever, and I dont want to ruine it :P


Most Helpful Guy

  • first off, start talking to her in real more than texting, come up with as much eye contact as possible,

    secondly, instead of asking us if you should give her options of where to go or let her select you can ask herself, like, you can give her some options and she can add up some options herself, and yes probably her selecting up a time/day for the date is better.

    if you go for the icecream option, probably you paying for her icecream is a good idea since if she's materialistic she would like that.

    after your very first date asking her to be your girlfriend seems like a bad idea (situational), instead telling that you love her and discuss this and learning what she feels for you first is a better idea, if the discussion ends well and she has good and lovely feelings for you, its your decision to either ask right then or on another time, i dont think it would matter at all.

    You're very welcome if it works, i didn't get any help at all and i hated that so i wanted to help you, if anything interesting happens you can let me know.

    • Thanks for your very detailed answer! :) (if you ever need anything answered, ask me)

      I tried to talk to her irl more, but mostly its really short (like 2 minutes or even shorter), because we dont have the time. So Im asking her out to talk to her more :)

      So its very situational to ask her to be my gf. Almost at the end of the 'date' I could ask her something like: I really like you, but I've been wondering how you think about me (and a convo will flourish out of that). If it turns out she likes me i can ask her to be my gf right?

      And also, how long should we stay at the ice cream place? (maybe between half an hour and an hour?)

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    • your idea is good, however as i said, her only saying that she likes you can result in friendzoning thats why you going in deeper would be better, and no i dont think asking if she wants to be your girlfri you can askend has limits, her the more you try even, however this would seem like your chances would be lowered so dont ask her too much.

    • after you get the answer you want or any positive answer you may touch her, hug her etc. but as i said, beign too touchy they dont like, some even think of "you like my body and not me" which is TERRIBLE so be careful

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Ask her out in person, and Monday should be good. U definetly have to pay for the ice cream, and u shouldn't ask her to be ur gf right away, wait till u go out in more dates. And after the date, if all the sign says that both of u were having fun then hug her and say that u had a good time and would like to hang out more.

  • you pay for the ice cream. and don't ask her to be your girlfriend right away. go on a few dates hinting her that you like her like really listen to her give her feedback and remember what she says. on the next date mention something she said before it will tell her that you care what she has to say even the little things. hug her yes! be sweet to her be playful like flirty but not to the point where she thinks you are trying to get in her pants. ask her out for a movie and put your arm around her :) best of luck! oh compliment her too saying she's pretty!

    • Thanks for your detailed answer :)
      I think she already knows that I like her :P But Ill ask her on the ice-cream date if she wants to go on another date maybe (and ask her where she'd like to go with me)

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    • thank you! and when a guy compliments me it makes me feel flattered.

    • hey message me and i'll answer any question you have. i have to go help little kids for a bit at an elementary school lol but ill be back message me:)

  • Walk up to her in school say hey wanna grab some ice cream
    If she says yes well there's your date do it that day on Monday
    You definitely pay and then see how it all goes because she might try to kiss you
    Just tell her you had a great time and you look forward to it again if she smiles it went well if it fakes her a while to respond the date was ok and if she doesn't respond she's either playing Ard to get or didn't have fun at all

  • ask her out in person and if you really like her bring her a flower when you ask her I think going for ice cream is a good start!


What Guys Said 2

  • Ask her out before the day of the date, but specify which day, and ask if she's free. Like: "wanna go out on Tuesday?" If she can't pick a day, that's where it gets a bit more complicated.

    Ice cream sounds perfect, that's what I wanted to do. You can pay if she let's you, but don't make a big deal out of it.

    Sure, hug her at the end of the date. Personally I would only kiss her if it feels really right, and she'll make it relatively obvious if she wants you to kiss her. And I'd only ask her to be my girlfriend if I kissed her probably, or if she made it obvious (but I don't know how she'd do that). I don't really know the rules. But yes, hug her at least.

    I asked my crush out like a month and a half ago. I asked her on Friday and asked if she wanted to go out on Sunday. She said that she would if she could. On Sunday, I asked her when she wants me to pick her up, and she said that she just remembered she was supposed to babysit and she was already late. Hmm, that makes me wonder if she forgot about it cause she was thinking of our 'date'.

    • Kissing her? On the cheek i suppose?
      I prefer to hug for now on (maybe ill kiss awkwardly).
      She laughs a lot at me (i make a lot of jokes), so if she's laughing a lot on the date, and really seems to like me, i should ask her to be my gf right? Else i should ask her to go on another date with me, and together choose where to go.

      The only problem is the time, actually. What is too short and what is too long? I really find it hard to cut off the convo (to actually slowly stop it) and going away. When do i end the date? And how to do that?

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    • I mean I would only say "can I kiss you?" if you were gonna kiss her on the lips.

    • I dont live in the usa, so im not allowed to drive when im 16 :P
      I think going on multiple dates is better yes

  • suggest a day, so it's a yes/no not a 'maybe' answer. She may say she's busy studying, but if she wants to see you she will suggest another time, or encourage you to.

    Pay for her ice cream. If she seems awkward about that but it's going okay, tell her she can pay when she asks you somewhere.

    • Good idea! Her to pay me when she asks me somewhere. She will think like 'hmm i have to pay the guy back the money, so yes, i can take him out'
      Nice idea :)

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    • But really that's quite a clever trap.
      "Oh, you can pay on our next date." Damn that's smooth.

    • Its a kind of mean i think. It will make her to ask me on a date, because she wants to give the money back :P

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