Why isn't he ready to define anything when he pretty much acts like my boyfriend anyway?

We go on dates, we're intimate, he drives an hour each way to see me, we call and text each other practically every day, he gives me cute little gifts like flowers and a necklace, he says all these sweet things, and that he really likes me and has feelings for me (I feel the same), and I've even met his parents... but he's not ready for us to be an official couple? We agreed not to see anyone else three dates in, but his reluctance here confuses me a lot. We've been dating for months now.

When I've brought it up, he says I'm over-thinking it, we're having fun and spending time together, taking it day by day etc. It's contented me for now, but I'm still bothered by it. Whatever he says, he doesn't act like we're just casually seeing each other.


Most Helpful Guy

  • "When I've brought it up, he says I'm over-thinking it,"

    I am very okay with women knowing where i stand while we're dating. Women hate not knowing and feel that if they ask it scares guys away. F-that, if you want to know then ask, the guy should tell you.

    "I like you however i'd still like things to go slow. I feel we'd be a good match for a relationship but i still need time. If i ever feel that we aren't a good match, i promise to let you know so that we're not wasting anyone's time. Please do the same for me."


    • You get it! It bugs me a lot not knowing where we stand, but I've been afraid to ask outright. Thanks :)

    • I think both sides owes their "dater" the heads up. For the most part guys don't think about the relationship part until a while into the dating, he's just happy a pretty/cute girl who he enjoys spending time with is across the table.

      The girl of course has analyzed every date / conversation thoroughly and then analyzed it again ( i have observed my female friends). So i think for guys, it's our job to let you guys know to validate your feelings as we go along (not give you what you want to hear but be honest about where they stand).

      Of course "what do you want to name our baby" = over thinking.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Because commitment fuck everything up. Once you've declared someone your gf/bf, you start taking things for granted, and then you can't just LEAVE, you have to BREAK UP. Possessiveness, jealousy, it's pointless.
    Be glad you found someone who can rise above that shit.

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