Was I wrong for getting angry at her?

So her parents wouldn't let us be together. We were really into each other willing to do anything to make it work. We snuck around here and there being exclusive. She was emotional a lot during that period. Would cry when she left my house all the time.

I gave her a number of opportunities to back out but she insisted this is what she wanted. Last minute she calls me and backs out was calm and collected. Set in her mind. Didn't see it coming.

Next day she calls me hysterically crying not making much sense. Saying we can still work it out right? Said she wants me and that's it. I told her if she made a decision she should stick with it.. Told her she can have a normal life and doesn't have to dk this. Told her you should see other people.. I thought her say I'll call you back when I stop crying.

She didn't call for two days so I called her first and she completely stone walled me I guess because she was with friends. But I just snapped because I was so sick of these passive aggresive games. I told her I'm done playing these games I'm not calling back you are too young for this shit. she was saying you act like you don't even want to try and work this out. Told her I'm just out of patience and I'm too old to be playing these games.

I ended up apologizing the next day through text and just told her to take care of her self. Because she said she wasn't sure if she wanted to talk to me because I was being so mean. I asked if we were done and she said it's not a good time for us to be together.

I saw her a week ago which made it a month of no contact. She seemed pissed and on the verge of crying. We had a long talk and I apologized. She didn't believe that I loved her and companies I was moody and mean. Was going through the police academy at this time.. tried to explain that to her. She brought up everything I did wrong in the relationship.. everything. I just took it but her saying I don't love her killed me because Id do anything for her.

I guess I was neglecting and was moody and snapping but everyone goes through that during the police academy. A lot of stress. I told her before all this I'm not myself right now And told her this is really stressful. Said I acted like I didn't care.
by the way we were about to move out and that's what she backed out on. Her parents threatened to cut her off completley from their lives if she chose me.


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What Girls Said 2

  • You have all rights to be upset about her. Though, there are also parents who force their children to act like they don't care or elsewhere they bring up a threat.

    She either has to open up and tell you how things stand or as hard as it sounds... take a break. If forever or not, is up to you. But this is no good for a long term of time... you also have to respect yourself if she doesn't wanna do a thing about it after you tried.

    Take a deep breath and go outside... walk a bit and free your mind. Get lose and then think about it carefully again.

    • Yeah I mean I did act like I didn't care looking back on it. I ended up writting her a 10 page letter dropping it off at her work. I just told her I love her and why I do and explaining my mistakes in the relationship. She responded back and it seemed genuine to an extent she said I don't hate you that I was truley her first love and it's just bad timing. Her sneaking around took a toll on the relationship ship. Said this is goodbye hopefully just for now. Said maybe when we have our shit together we can try this again. said saying goodbye was the hardest thing she's ever done.

    • It seems that you both were very harsh to one another and need some time to breathe. Talk genuinly to each other and take things a bit more easy. If it's meant to be, your problems will find a way out of this mess and who said it has to be like that forever?
      Even best friends get into tough fights. All that tests your relationship to each other. It is how things work. If you both truly care for both of you, there will always be a solution. Hope, I could help you a bit and wish the best.(:

    • Was a help thank you. She did cut all contact though no social media. Nothing at all.

  • Quick question - how old are the two of you?

    • I'm 21 she's 18

    • Hm. Well it sounds like maybe she's not ready for a relationship, since she can't seem to figure out what she wants.. also the fact that her parents are involved make it unnecessarily complicated, so it's probably just not worth your time and effort at this point.

    • As for the original question, I don't think you should feel bad about how you acted. You were understandably frustrated, and you apologized anyways.

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