How many dates should you go on when you're "just not feeling it" with someone?

Say, you aren't feeling any spark with the person you're seeing... they just feel like a friend.

  • One date (at the end of the first date, if no spark is felt, none will grow)
    Vote A
  • 2-3 dates (give it some time to let the spark grow)
    Vote B
  • 3-5 dates (get to know the person more, a spark may grow)
    Vote C
  • 5-8 dates (etc)
    Vote D
  • 8+ dates (etc)
    Vote E
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Guy

  • if he didn't do anything wrong the first date i say you give him one more shot
    Also you can't go in with the mentality that there aren't any sparks, so its not gonna happen, you have to go with a positive mentality

    but after the 2nd date if you are not attracted to him nahhhhhhhhhh

    • I think a big factor was that he is jewish and wants to raise his kids jewish... no santa, no Christmas. I'm pretty darn catholic. I want my kids to be baptized and I want them to go to catholic schools, have Christmas and believe in santa... he does not... I think that's a pretty clear sign that I should just call it off there, don't you think?

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    • hahaha okay okay. good point. So what do I do/say?

    • You mean to turn him down?
      Tell 'em you aren't interested anymore, that thanks for the date but you are talking to someone else right now... I don't know haha! i usually just am a straightforward guy when i have to reject girls...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • 3-5 dates is the best i guesss

  • At a guess? Two. Depends on if this was a blind date kind of deal or someone you know better, I'd think.

    • Met online? Talked that day, just decided to go out and have fun/meet up.

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    • Couple hours haha. I think it's more that he's jewish and I'm catholic. He wants his kids to be jewish, I want mine to be catholic. He doesn't want any Christmas or santa or anything... and I do.

    • Yeah... for interreligious relationships, unless both people recognize each others' beliefs and respect each others' holidays, it typically wouldn't work out.

      For a couple hours, one date, two at most.

What Girls Said 5

  • Well if I didn't feel that spark, I wouldn't go on another date with him.

    • Yeah, he's an incredibly nice guy, but I just didn't feel anything the whole time. In fact, he really reminded me of my best guy friend to be honest. I think that was a major problem haha. My best guy friend is GREAT, but I'm not into him.

    • If you're still curious about him, it wouldn't hurt to go on a second date.

  • I'd say one or two. Sometimes being nervious because it's a first date can change the way it goes. Or the person could have just had a bad day. So i always try to do two dates

    • I know, I want to give the guy a second chance, but I just don't think I'll change my mind

  • I say give it at least 2 dates. 3 tops. If you still don't feel anything after the 3rd date then I think you should just bow out gracefully.

  • You either know if you're attracted to someone or not. It's unfair if one or both are pretending.

    • I agree... I think there are bigger problems too. He's jewish and wants to raise his family jewish... no santa, no Christmas. I'm catholic... a confirmed catholic. I want to do Christmas, have my kids in a catholic school and have them baptized. I think I should just call off the whole thing... we're adults and if religion is that important to both of us it'll never work!

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    • I was a stay at home mom and now I have a successful, happy grown child. You can't substitute anything for quality time spent with your kids.

    • My mom was a stay at home... I loved it. Yeah, I think this is bound to not work out...

  • If after one date you aren't feeling it romantically then let him know you'd rather be just friends.