I'm feeling really hurt?

So my bf and I have been dating 4 years and he is 27 and I 24. We are very serious in that we know we are going to marry each other. He only gets a weeks vacation time and I wanted to do a romantic week get away just me and him since we never went away together before. Well his family informed him that they want to do a family vacation just him and his 2 brothers mom and step dad and not invite me but he can't take more then a week off. He says to me he is sorry but he is going with his family. I'm hurt for a number of reasons first being that he planned this vacation with me first second being he is 27 with a serious gf and he is a grown adult and his family is excluding his serious partner and he is OK with that. The third being that it seeks weird to me to be going on a family vacation and leaving your partner at home as an adult. When do those things stop 20 30 40 50? How doni express my hurt to him. Should I re think how important he views me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It'll never go away. When you get married a man is suppose to leave his family and cling to his wife. Wife comes first then this parents. Based on this though, looks like he will always be that little boy that loves going with mommy and daddy. And you probably wouldn't of cared if he dropped your romantic week to go with his family, IF YOU were invited. But you are specifically excluded. Those were the mothers exact words probably and he listened to his mommy, his mommy still controls his actions. Can only imagine how the wedding is going to be, she going to control that too? What about thanksgiving? She going to get mad when you guys decided to have it at your house instead of hers and she throws a fit and then your husband can't say no to mommy... Good luck with your future mother-in-law. I think his behavior is totally selfish and not normal in a 27 yr old who is supposedly "in love". I'd be worried, you'll probably see more of this in the future. He might just want alone time though, to have fun on vacation, if you know what i mean... BE HONEST with him. Tell him the complete truth and how that hurt you. If he doesn't invite you or care then you should be worried. Dont attack him either, be the victim when telling him your feelings.

    • What do you mean by be the victim? He wouldn't be alone on this vacation he would be with his family. Youte right I'm worried his attachment with his FAM will never go away

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What Guys Said 2

  • Clearly you do not ride shotgun in his life. Only he can decide at what point he's willing to make you the most important person in his life (BAE Before Anyone Else). 20 30 40 50 some guys never leave their families and it sucks for their life partners.
    I think you should be seriously thinking about whether to marry this guy. You can't just assume it will get better.

  • So what he goes with his family don't be selfish, u don't own him

    • Well he is being rude because we made these plans first and he is basically dissing me to go on the family vacation to which they are leaving me out.. he is a grown adult they should respect our relationship enough to realize that we are serious and that my bf sees me as family or he should stand up to his family and say he only has souch vacation time and he made plans to spend it with me first. Its not owning someone to expect that they follow through with their plans.. dont know where you got that I believe I own him

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    • I didn't say they don't have the right to see him. But so do I as his off have a right to see him too. We made these plans first. When you are an adult your limited vacation time usually gets spent with your wife/fiance/gf/husband or whatever. Its part of becoming an adult you start your own family. Besides all that we made these plans together first.

    • I know all these things, but he ain't no angel forgive him if u love him really don't just waste it please :-)

What Girls Said 1

  • :-( He was not nice to you. He should tell his family he already has plans with you, not just cut you off like this.
    I think you should have a serious conversation with him. Tell him that this was wrong and you feel he doesn't take you as serious as he says.

    • Exactly! I'm. even willing to compromise and say that I'm cool with him going on the family vacay instead as long as he can bring me. That way we both can make out in the end. His family is happy he is going with them and I still get to spend a vacation with him

    • That would be the right move from him. This is totally not nice.
      You must be a really sweet girl! I would have lost it already, if I was in your shoes. Hehe